This is what prejudice does...

I read a story on funny.com about an 83 year old widowed pensioner who wrote a letter to God claiming that her purse was stolen with £100 in it - the only cash she had to manage until her next pension cheque. Christmas was coming and she had invited two of her friends over for dinner. With no family to turn to, she had to resort to God for help.

The postman processing her mail found the address illegible. So he thought he should open it to see. Reading it, he was touched, and decided to show it to the other workers, asking them to dig into their wallets for the old lady. Together they raised £4 short of £100 (£96), enveloped it and sent it to the woman.

A few days after Christmas, a letter of appreciation came from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened, and it read:

“Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it must have been those thieving bastards at the Post Office.”

This was intended to be a joke but I found it deep. It is what prejudice does; it will cloud your judgment, prevent the discovery of truth, cause you to be ignorant, misguide you into error, and lead you to an involuntary lack of gratitude like it did the old woman. Because of her predisposition about postal staff, she thought she was emptying out the bathing tub, but she ended up throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Misunderstanding...

Misunderstanding is a natural human defect. But once one is willing to communicate, like talking to the other instead of talking about the other, an opportunity to understand each other will naturally arise.

However, when you’re doing all that and the other party cannot get over him/herself, like it is your loss anyway, I say screw it…! Move on and cut your losses. They say you cannot hold your head high with your hand out begging for acceptance.

Our post-election sentiments are so side-splitting at times...lol

When great changes occur, some thoughts will be overwhelmed by emotions of what was, some minds woken up, and some hearts broken. That’s how it is! But because events in life are unlike a recording that you can playback, fast-forward or rewind anytime you want, press the play and savour every minute of the moment, of course not losing grip on the degree of focus required for the future.

That said, I believe that Jaliba Kuyateh like every other Gambian has the right (earned or otherwise) to celebrate a happy occasion. If I choose to cry my emotions out, and he uses his trade to sing a song in praise, I cannot assuredly claim that he’s ego-feeding, nor can I not allow him the privilege. What I can at the very least do is to be civil. If you ask me, I believe there’s a difference between an opportunist and someone seizing an opportunity to do what he was dying to do the whole time.

The progress of the process of democracy is not in building too many walls; one doesn't have to be a career politician to know that; it’s about ending differences and building bridges. Yes, it is natural to feel disappointment that he kept his tongue behind his teeth when he was expected to talk, but it’s also wise to ask: was talking really all that there was to be done? In fact, President-elect Barrow was UDP (so I was told), yet most of us didn’t know him like we knew the rest. But just because he wasn’t all over the place doesn’t mean he did nothing or was indifferent; he was perhaps differently active.

We need to overstand that change is a cumulative effect of many small actions (covert or overt). In our case, from that straw that stirred the drink, including those who paid the ultimate price, to those combined straws that broke the camel's back, i.e. the political alliance, the go-funders, the advocacy groups, youth leaders, voters, hood popes, etc.

I am sure those who feel entitled to accolades will be recognised in due course –the ORGs and all. But in the meantime, if you have a pre-election chapter that you wouldn’t want to read out loud, stop reading out someone else’s. Some of us have been on social media from I don’t know when, and have seen enough to state that If we should do a ‘sosolaso’ and dig up some memories from a few years back, some people doing the apathy-bashing on here will be shamed, but that will be as petty.

Beliefs and debates...

Where beliefs are involved, debates are essential, especially when the belief-holders are even-tempered. However, when someone that you disagree with changes opinion, or is now seeing things your way, or switches over to the prevailing direction, say: “that’s what’s up brotha/sista. I knew you'd come round eventually, you're a reasonable person.”

This is what I see pious proselytisers do; they'll say "Hallelujah or Alhamdulillah Akhi/Ukhti." and I find that very welcoming and encouraging; a lot better than bashing the person's detour or bringing his or her past into play like you were keeping score the whole time.

Brotha Malcolm X said: “Don’t be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn’t do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn’t know what you know today.” As for the seeker, if afforded an opening to be on the ball, don’t be pig-headed; it’ll be a disservice to self.

Buddies...

A "ride and die" is one who when he feels offended will tell you how he feels about you, knowing that anyone's capable of offending someone.

Childish buddies have this ever-shifting attitude of 'hail, best-friending' you one minute, behaving so coldly towards you next minute, and totally ignoring you thereafter, mostly based on very foolish third-party influenced assumptions.

I hate shit like that, even if good riddance is what it is. It's not like I'm a softy or something, I just hate to feel let down... and this post ain't personal.

The team...

A wise man once metaphorically so described a team as having a natural composition of four: the pilot, the crew, passengers, and baggages.

While not all can be pilots, or be responsible for steering the team at the same time, each one can be an active member of the full complement, either by being a crew member or a passenger, but not one who'll desert the team when things appear rough.

Then There're the baggage-like members. They may not be as helpful as the rest, but since you cannot go without them, and unless they become excess baggages, pick them up and shove them in the trunk if you must. Just make sure you handle the fragile ones with care, knowing that anyone can come in handy someday.

Respect is aura inspired...

If you’re disrespected at what you choose do for a living, check if your comportment at it is precisely the manner expected. Granted, even the poorest peasant deserves respect, but I am of the belief that the respect you demand has to be inspired by the aura you present.

Where I come from, it is said that if a hyena grows (unusual) disrespect for the lion, it is because of the latter’s comportment or appearance. (Bukki su yabbeh gaynde, si doxin wa la).

Cynicism isn't all bad...

If you had once undergone the emotional pains of a heartbreak, gotten fucked over by someone you thought was a great friend, got duped, double-crossed or sauced by a partner in business, and now you find yourself doubting the sincerity and motives of human beings, I say fair enough; once bitten, twice shy. In fact, where I come from, it is believed that having a trace of cynicism is a shield (nyow njorta dinai faral di wattu borom). The saying in Nigeria is: "person wey madman don bite before, if im see mechanic he go take off."

Just try!

If I am not the best, I am one of the most phenomenal leapers ayard, hands down. But that's stale news... lol - What I am trying to say is - you will never know your potential if you cannot defy doubts and dare public opinion, if you refuse to raise the bar, or challenge the best, just as I wouldn't have outperformed the best there was, or known how great a height I could jump if I hadn't tried dunking beyond the usual 10-foot hoop.

Class act!

Class act is when a lady goes on a date, then to the ladies' room to take a selfie, poses in front of the mirror, angles her hip to make the ass look huge, snaps: krakatch, krakatch, krakatch - comes back to the table, selects the best pic, uploads it, now waiting for the endorsements to roll in so she can reply as follows: “aww, thanks hun!” “It's for you bae!” “Oyofal rek my D!” “Banj nga merr…” etc.

Even those random pervs who comment about the stiffy they had from gawking at her pic will get to get a wink in assent, or an "Aww, wow, really? Thanks luv!" Meanwhile, her man is busying himself with the food, occasionally smiling in acquiescence, perhaps because he's too naive, too foolish, too helpless, the love too real, or him too nice a guy to see anything wrong with what looks like his passivity and innocence being preyed on.

Being giving...

If you're a willing giver, unsparingly sharing whatever you have because you're caring, best believe, your largess will be taken advantage of. You may even be accused of doing it to gain a good name.

But if you think it sucks to be a provider, be good-for-nothing, like have no means to give to those that you should share with, or have none to count on you for anything. You know, that messed up feeling of being broke and seeing things that you're morally and socially obligated to provide.

It's best to pray that you'll be afforded the means to fulfill hopes (yaakaar), and may the ones you provide for not also transgress the limits, because exceeding the usual bounds of yaakaar may lead to baakaar (sin).

About love and trust, what you allow is what you'll get...

Anyone who has the heart to love, care or trust can fall stupid for someone, it doesn't mean you're stupid. Calling you a stupid fool will only be apt when you're beslaved by the bullshit of getting invariably played but always thinking that the heartless perp will come around and see things your way ... in this life, you deserve whatever hurt you effing allow to continue.

Transformation is real yo!

On a lighter note, that kid that used to wipe her runny nose with her forearm and then on her clothes; the one you thought wasn't hot enough for you could someday be the chick of your wet dreams - and if you’re a girl, don’t dismiss the possibility that that boy with dried up baobab juice (icey bui) all over his mouth; the one you look at with eww, could one day be your never ending man crush.

Basically, what I'm saying is, think twice before you say never, because there's always a chance for transformation. In fact, this "Fatehleku Demba" (reminiscence) challenge that’s trending on here is a working example. Although I have seen cases of devolution too, like once cute kids gone meh – y’know, the ones you gawk at and in your head you’re like: lord have mercy! What the hell went wrong?

Doers...

Doers are three:

The low-key doers - subtle in approach and so evasive of attention. Their methods can be overly reckful, causing them to be misunderstood; their routes often so long and winding but usually practical.

The high-key doers - they must flaunt theirs out loud, so it can be seen, heard and talked about. You cannot but admire their gift for attention.

The Trojans or undoers if you like - they’re often appealingly disguised as genuine doers, but spitefully misleading… may we know them so we know how to deal with them.

Misunderstanding...

Misunderstanding is human, just as it is human to be willing to put an end to it through communication, but if instead of talking to each other, you are so fixed on talking about each other, what you really need to talk to each other about will end up not getting said, causing more contention and widening of the divide.

Be a comforter...

When a loved one is going through a tough life, be easy on the individual; be a comforter like it could've been you, and knowing that not every show of emotional pressure is volitional, yabateh, or hamadi.

You wouldn't want to wait until shit happens, and then be woken up by your conscience, wishing you could go back in time to be there for the person... but that is if you're as caring.

Expect it...

The worst reaction you'll ever get, or the most inconducive feeling you'll ever feel can come from the one you expected the best from. One needs no particular talent to be inclined to disappoint. So, to cause your morale to be at a high, expect this and you will never be disheartened or too agitated by been let down.

Tact...

When you're trying to arouse someone to action or to inspire an idea, but you end up upsetting the person, don't shake your head yet, check your chosen method, it is more than likely that you have overstepped the limits. Granted, the human spirt is sensitive, but I believe everyone is responsive to tact.

Awakening...

When you look back at your Facebook's ‘On This Day’ memories, at the swiftness of time, like, “wow, a year's gone already," if you recollect those events that once were, think about the people who are no longer with you, and you do not feel the need to resurrect your spirit from trivialities, be worried.

When you're favourably regarded...

When you're favourably regarded, be you a provider of some sorts, a star, or just famous for being famous, very few people will disagree with the things you say and do, even when they don't actually agree with you.

Theirs is usually self-serving, and you loving it is ego-serving, but it's also a sloping passage; descent is mostly so rapid and irreversible. Best thing is, have a few honest people around you, those who'll feel obligated to tell it like it is.

It takes two to tango...

You can make a point, or promote an idea without making an enemy in the process. It's very possible, but it takes two to make it happen; the point maker or the idea promoter must be tactful, and the target or audience as tolerant and liberal in perception and reaction.

So, in the event you cease to be on friendly terms with someone who once was, and want to delegate blame, remember that it takes two to nurture a dispute, two to want to function in harmony again, and two to mend the broken pieces.

Fashion...

If you still have your Chewan Jeans, your kick-ass Fila, Patrick Ewing or Converse sneakers from the 90s, keep them locked. Very soon old will become new again, just like half of what we call fashion today are but reinventions, perhaps costlier, flashier and kinkier. I think the fashion industry is undergoing a creative slowdown.

In fact, fashion is just a thing of time and nerve. When you wear yours ahead of everyone, but devoid of confidence in yourself, they’ll say it is ridiculous, wear it after everyone else, it is old-fashioned, and wear it with everyone else, it is at the height of fashion. I guess best thing is to don whatever it is that empowers you, even if it is gonna be well outside the mainstream, knowing that setting trend is nobody's monopoly.

The friend worth keeping...

Worse than a buddy whose only gift is the gift of taking from you is that fairweather friend whose obsession with his/her interest has escalated his/her indifference to a state of tragedy. I mean the type of acquaintance who even though you're emotionally pressured and he/she knows it, will pressure you even more, mostly with his/her own problems, like you don't have enough already.

You know, that type of friend who'll rudely interrupt your needed complain just to ask for a spare sheet of rizla... with a friend like that, man, you don't need an enemy.

A friend whose friendship sees beyond personal interest will listen to you not only when times are good. He/she will tolerate your feelings of annoyance and occasional rants, without demonising your character, because he/she knows you to be better than that. He/she will ask if you want to talk about it, call out others who try to bother you, like: "hey, go easy on him, he's been under a lot of stress." May we be and be blessed with friends like that; it can prevent a lot.

Dear health and happiness seeker...

Eat good, hyderate the body, workout, sleep good, be a listener, not a chatterbox, denounce hate, have a fully funded love fund, use it, seek your fortune in enterprises that are ahead of ordinary thinking, listen to DJ Kora and Artical Slice, Born Africans, Royal Family, you name them; watch "wiri wiri," don't take the events in it to heart, it's only a television drama series.

Read books... don't just read and take everything at face value; raise questions if you have to, appreciate dissent, respect choices, value other people's abilities, don't get combative when your attention is drawn to you writing amateur as "amature," or "couples" where you just meant a couple. In fact, avoid stress by knowing when to take a deep breath, hold it for a sec, exhale slowly and say: "hey, mahn ken duma horh!" Let go and move on.

Yeah! I think I'm done.
Fellow Seeker.

Screw dreams, have goals...

Dreams are like opinions, they're so commonplace. In fact, any fool can get stoned and start imagining things. I used to see myself shaking hands with David Stern, the NBA commissioner then, as I am being introduced as the first pro NBA player from The Gambia... some dream of a bigger life, some big fame, others big cars with custom-made wheels, Sunday barbecues by the pool with women dressed half-naked, getting high and laid like nothing else matters.

However, goals and gameplans are like sensible understanding; they're so uncommon, and that's where many of life's overtaking takes place. Dreams only imagine what's pleasing to imagine having, but deficient in strategies, objectives, tactics, tools etc. In truth, dreams alone cannot guarantee a life as awesome, they must be striven for, that's how they come true. You must have the courage to make yourself available to the task. I thought I needed to say this to me.

From when you're altruistic...

Once you're imbued with regard for others, brotherly kindness if you like, you'll be weighed down, mostly by burdens that are in fact not yours to carry, but you'll anyway; that's your nature.

Sometimes you'll be like, why am I even carrying all these burden on behalf of someone who doesn't even seem to care? If you ask me, it's not like the person doesn't, (s)he's perhaps not as clueful. Being in accordance with the latest fashion or hype doesn't always translate to wakefulness. Ignorance is real yo!

The types of doers....

There are two classes of doers: the conscientious ones and the just-get-it-over-with class. The former will give their all in the performance of what they’re required to perform, with readiness and grace. The second set of doers do it only when they're asked to, and mostly in the eleventh hour, just to meet artificial deadlines and to save face, yet they could be seen making so much noise, claiming a million Dalasi recognition for a hundred Dalasi worth of productivity, describing everyone else’s as a conscious attempt to impress.

Slander is short-lived...

From when you're seen amounting to something, no matter how much you keep your business to yourself, some insecure person somewhere is narrating your biography, saying things about you, baseless things mostly - you know, pretending to know you just to sully what you have.

If you ask me, worrying about it is like allowing the person to keep hurting your internal state of being. Remain in your cool and rest assured that of all artificial creations like that, slander is one of the most short-lived, next to romance perhaps. Soon time will breed truth, you'll be vindicated, and the slanderer shamed.

Some work, others take the credit...

Yes, it is not unusual for people to want to take all the credit, and to delegate all the blame. Yes, as human as I am, and naturally self-preservative, I may have been there done that a few times, I just can't recall when and to what extent. No, I'm not recommending that you follow suit.

Indira Gandhi is credited with saying that "there are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there" - and this is not about me or anyone in particular, I just happen to agree with the notion.

Celebrity...

Behaving with more show than reality, like speaking to people who are unlike you and your circle with a tone of superiority, blowing out their flames by downplaying their every move, or speaking of them as if unimportant, raw or contemptible, or trying to make a really big impression by any means doesn't make anyone a celebrity. In fact, from when you've earned yourself that status, you no longer have to introduce yourself.

L.A.S.T - Listen, Apologise, Solve, and Thank!

This customer service manifesto should be every agent's commitment, so that none will act as if (s)he's doing the customer a favour, or that dealing with, or handling customer complaints has to be a tug of war. Put your ego last and treat each client as your only remaining customer on earth, then sit back and be amazed by the amount of tips and raise that will come your way.

To those pants-sagging raggedy-ass eyehole-infested-boxer-shorts wearing wanksters and their frumpy wannabe divas who come to our stores on Sundays, during feasts and on Valentine's day to buy nonsense, Extra gum, potato chips, and candy bars, or to take selfies by the shelves, listen: the customer being always right is figurative not literal. So be nice, knowing that whatever service you cannot get with politeness and courtesy, you will not get by any other means.

Circumstantial expertise...

They say a sharp tongue or a loudmouth is no indication of a keen mind; I agree.

But where the keen mind is seemingly unconcern about, uninvolved in/with, or shows no regard for what he or she's expected to make happen, or express informed opinion on, the constipated mind will be afforded a free rein to yap, willy-nilly.

In other words, when the knowledgeable fails to resort to it, the one with limited knowledge will naturally become a circumstantial proxy, last resort if you like, and you can't blame the person much, because the one capable of doing so much is doing nothing.

What's judgemental?

Privately drawing a friend's attention to a mistake in the performance of a certain action, or to an embarrassing error, especially one about to be made in public is not like you're passing judgment, it's friendlike; we owe it to each other.

Today unfortunately, the word judgemental has become so clichéd and that's scary. I am afraid that in the end, mutual sincerity will be defeated to the ruin of many, because any sincere advice you give that is not to the pleasing of the advisee will be tantamount to bigotry.

If a friend wears an 'ugh-mazing' attire with an unnoticed defect for instance, drawing her attention to the fail before it becomes a viral malfunction is a moral duty, but concluding that she did it on purpose, or saying she has no personality is what's judgemental... you know, those smugly moralistic remarks - I hate those!

Envy...

Counting someone else’s blessing will cause you to assign too low a value to yours. Painfully desiring the person's good fortune, like: 'why the hell should he achieve all that,' without attention to differences in upbringing, heritage, background, effortfulness, and playing field will lead to discontent; a grudgeful one at that.

In fact, if you don't mind, misery will be your company, because each time the person you're trying to compete is praised in your presence, you'll get bitter. So, be admiring of the possessions of others, but value what you own, knowing that in this life, even though some things aren't for everyone, there's always something for everyone. Like they say in Jamaica: "ah suh di ting set." We are built to be mutually dependent.

Quote of the day...

Before delegating blame, or acting all pissed with what's in your cup, check if you weren't the one who poured it.

Give vent to it, it's natural...

From when you wake up in the morning, to when you set about going on your business of minding your business, to the time you join the rush hour coming home, and even when at home, you’ll come across something to get so mad about.

Some people can bottle it up, some will talk it out nicely, and others will go ballistic and let everyone know how mad they're; people are different... some are good, some bad, some calm, and some hasty tempered. But since people won't let people be, giving vent to crap is not always crabby - even the coolest of people have their moments of fatigue.

Personally, I find it mentally freeing when I get it off my chest, and that's perhaps not just a personal thing, because according to a health related research article I read, it is said that men who hold back their discontent are likely to have a heart attack five times faster than those who give vent to it. It is also said that those who internalise their anger are more likely to suffer high blood pressure than those who verbalise it.

So I'm not saying be NH (never happy), or go about putting incorrect addresses on your emotions, because unnecessary and misdirected anger can also cause stress and chaos, but if keeping it suppressed and hidden is gonna ache, express the frustration, and if you're the softie type, there's no harm in crying it out; I do that all the time.

Right time is right now...

"It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any." - Hugh Laurie

I don't know about you but myself, there's never been an occasion I did something I find productive and didn't express regret for not doing it sooner; you know, wishing I had done more of it. I think it's because like many out there, I spend like forever taking the convenient time for the right time.

Priorities...

Once upon a time, it was all about catering to desires like swagg, looking fly or cute, getting flava, serial dating, getting laid, the one-nights stands, the occasional high, the excitement in the urban nightlife, the unprovoked youthful anger and resistance, the indictment of ways you saw differently, the goodly street and left-wing speeches, like some good old Marxist professor, except in deed.

Fast forward to when the mind's now all ripe, bodily growth completed, licit reproduction close to its right time, a rewarding economic role secured, a more productive union shaped, mom's eager to see her grandkids, homies and playas who are seemingly trapped in the game soon start getting retorts like: "Dude, grow up! I ain't into that anymore; I have a home to take care of."

Now responsibility is taken, bills getting the better of you, the division of attention to not only the needs of your own family, but of the extended family, and even the extension of the extended family, the exercise of good judgment and prudence, the random recollection of your past, of that youthful identity and your delusions of grandeur back then, the regret in your artful evasion of reality and of things worth doing sooner... but that's all right. What I am trying to depict is that indeed, priorities do change.

If...

If your heart is not in it, and that's anything for that matter, don't do it. If you don't want it to be a public anthem, don't post it on here; don't even say it. If you couldn't care less about the way you behave, don't rebuke others.

If you can't stand opposing opinions, don't start a debate. If you must say or do it, remember, everything you do or say will create a reaction. If you know you're as vulnerable to sin as everyone else, don’t try to be perfect; just be human.

If you're fond of interpreting every remark as if it were critical about your person, don't read my posts. I cannot be responsible for someone else's ability to grasp, or for any subjective emotional process of some sort.

Success is a slow process...

Success in every aspect is a slow process. Whosoever tells you otherwise was probably born with a silver spoon in his mouth, and perhaps never told about the volume of sweat and occasional tears that went into the foundation of his endowment.

But then, no matter how difficult to endure it will occasionally get, without regard to what others say about your previous failure(s), and with God in your ride, no speed hump fashioned to grind your journey to a halt shall prosper. My Christian idrens will say: "With Christ in the vessel, we can smile at the storm."

'Naseehah'

When somebody strays or sins, rather than exposing or seeking to injure the person's reputation and dignity, ours is to give advice, and to cover up for him, in a manner compatible with law that is. Muslims call it "Naseehah."

But since this is not usually the case, airing your dirty laundry not only in public, but even in confidence to someone who keeps record of your wrongs can be very dangerous.

Like, why the hell is he keeping track? Does he care, or is he adding more to cart - to be used against you someday? Do you know the magnitude of the speed and venom of his mouth? What if y'all cease to be on friendly terms; can you keep his demons of vengeance cowed? Do you have the time for drama like that? If you can't tell, don't tell him.

My favourite documentary intro...

"Only one creature has carved a life for itself in every habitat on Earth; that creature is us. All over the world, we still use our ingenuity to survive in the wild places, far from the city lights, face to face with raw nature... this is the Human Planet.”

Whenever I am watching the Human Planet documentaries and this intro is read, I feel extremely pleased that I am a part of the greatest of creations... but that's of course minus the audacity of man in his invariable treatment of evil as good and good as evil.

Observe...

If you're going to write it, know it. Better yet, be able to prove it. If you're going to read it, pay attention; not everything you read on social media is black-and-white certainty. The real deal is sometimes a hidden supply. In fact, on here, overstanding and knowledge of which source to trust will come to those who observe.

Maintain dialogue...

When there's a problem between you and someone else, talk to the person like, hey mate, look! Even teeth and tongue do fall out sometimes... maintain dialogue with the individual.

Do not go about telling everyone about it... it wouldn't 'dead the issue.' In fact, today, many a people you talk to is no relationship mender, but some stonehearted scandal-mongering discord-cultivator who cannot wait to distort the recitation of your account. By the time you know it, even the things you haven't said yet will be held against you, and you'll end up so screwed and sorry. Don't allow it. Happy (Islamic) New Year still!

Unless you fall off, go broke, or say no...

No matter how long and oft y'all roll, homies proving faithless is nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, in the hood, it is said that unless you fall off, go broke, or say no, everyone around you is either a bff, or bae.

But all leeches gone, what you're gonna find regrettable is that the one you took for granted, and the one you least expected to go with you through the bad times is usually the realest - the true ride or die.

In this crocodile age...

In this crocodile age where preservation of one's dignity and privacy, and the means to keeping clear of baseless accusations will depend not on the treasures of your heart, but on the jewels that your name is reputed for, if you are going to pray for long life, pray for a good state of health, prosperity, and a strong support structure. I swear down, I have seen many an elderly been disrespected today not because they deserve to be, but because of their perceived social and cultural inferiority.

A problem shared is NOT always a problem halved

“A problem shared is a problem halved,” like: "shared grief is half-grief." That’s the claim, but not all the time; in my opinion that is. I believe sharing your problems especially with a barren brain will make you feel worse-off, trust me!

For the record, I don't mean quiet people; I mean empty ones, because many times you’ll find so much light in the silence of the silent. Reference here’s two: those with zero-initiative, and those who are so inconsiderate that they’re always downplaying someone else’s plight to give emphasis to theirs.

Like Spoonhead will say: “waw deh, lolu tamit bax na” (that too is great) to every choice you say you’re gonna make, even if in your heart, all you needed was his guidance… or my dawg Skinny will be like: “boy, what’s up?” and you: “I could be better; my ankle’s still hurting from the sprain last week.” Then he’ll say: “hey, yours isn’t as painful star; me, lawd …” then he’ll multiply his in such a fashion that yours will feel like you’re just making a big deal out of nothing.

Hurricane Matthew

Prayer is awesome; so my thoughts and prayers are with the brothers and sisters in Haiti. But then what Haiti needs right now is not just prayers; they need supplies, doctors, and nurses like yesterday; then they need better structures and uncorrupt institutions for proactive disaster management.

I hate to comment on natural disasters like this lest I'll be blaspheming, but really, I just cannot overstand nature. Sometimes it seems as if she has her worst disasters and mass murders in store for the most fragile. This country's one of the world's poorest; they haven't even recovered from the 2010 earthquake that killed thousands, the cholera thereafter, the Hurricane Sandy in 2012, and now this, eh?

Be ingenious...

No seller will get ahead of the other if everyone's selling the same thing, and if every seller wants to shine brighter than the rest without adding a speck of ingenuity to what everyone's selling.

Like every street vendor in my hood is selling roasted peanuts and boiled eggs, placing us (patrons) at a circumstance in which we must make a choice, but between alternatives that are equally undesirable; you know, creating relationships of avoidable rivalry, and causing feelings of displeasure stemming from the belief that one's betrayed by another.

EGO!

If your sense of self is on steroids, you have a problem; you'll always see others for holding their ego as incentive for the actions they take and the decision they make, because that's what you would've done; you're passing judgment using your own ego as the standard, forgetting that yours grows very quickly.

"Sour grapes" dislike...

No matter what you do, someone somewhere will find fault with it - and because there's no art to unfurl the construction of the heart of a people by what they display, some will pretend a moderate living not because they're, but because they want to pick at you or yours. If you ask me, it's not because it sucks to be you; it's usually because what it takes to be you is too high for them to reach.

I know someone who less than a couple years ago will turn up his nose and call you aimless for buying a mobile phone in excess of 1500 Dalasis (£25). Today, he's so comfortable that he spends money for no reason; said: "of what use is it if you can't flaunt it?" So his was a case of the "sour grapes" fable. In a nutshell, because it's easy for people to despise what they can't have, learn to tell between what they say to you in good faith and what I call a downright emission of coherent nonsense.

The copy cannot be the original...

Many a people that became them through you, and the ones you're seeking to polish or introduce to a life that they never knew existed will someday lose grip with reality. They'll exaggerate the estimate of their splendour and go overboard with their you-given living. They'll occasionally act against you, and taunt you like you're now the newbie and they the knowbies.

I know these things, and I know it hurts to be an object of it. But the way I see it, the ones like that have always had envious feelings for you, perhaps just on a low-key at the time. But it's a good thing that their masks are falling off their faces and you're able to see your worth in their desire to be you. So relax in knowing that the copy will always be cheaper than the original.

Committing responsibility to others is not cool...

Helping out, showing empathy for others, recognising feelings, or being promotive of any good cause is a noble thing. I mean even as seemingly futile as posting a very miserable picture on here and asking people not to scroll without sharing or typing ‘Amen’ - from when it's genuine and done for the greater good, I respect that. However, if your track record as far as caring is concerned is as good as zero-over-hundred, don't commit responsibility to others.

Once a friend came to me for some cash that I had, but because my internal state of being was out of network at the time, an unusually stingy part of me said to him: "I am broke star! But check on our friend [name withheld]; I don't know where he hit the jackpot but he's moneyed these days." Apparently, that friend was his first point of call; he was just redirected to me same way.

So rather than doing what we could, we were conveniently passing the baton of responsibility to one another, either attempting to shift blame, or just concealing our want of doing what we could've done. So if you can, do it. If what's asked for is too much to shoulder, just chip in, because more than occasionally, when someone tells you to help him with something to fix something, he's told another, and another, and another; by the time you know it, he's amassed a fortune at your collective expense.

When you amount to something.... the consequence!

If your name and worth are such that you don't have to be present or be introduced for people to know that you exist, brace up! A lot of opinions will be formed about you without any knowledge of the facts about you. But that's why they call it opinion and not definition.

Some people will sketch your character like they raised you, just to feign how close they're to you, or how deep they know you. Trying to vindicate your honour is a waste of time - only a few will listen. Allow the tumult to take its course, knowing that all what the truth needs is a lil bit of time to take its toll - not your defense.

To keep up...

Succeeding in what you do and to be at the top of your game is one thing, it's another to remain there. In fact, it takes double the dedication and character you put in to get there. Even if a fluke is what you think yours is, you can make it last by not choosing to fall asleep at the wheel, and by not allowing it to get to your head.

But then, there's this school of thought that believes that you don't change because of what you've become. Instead, what you've become only reveals who you really are. I heard one Galsen rapper say: "yaroo ndik yorroh" - meaning: not all who appear good mannered or modest are really so; he believes that some are because they aren't well-heeled, or have nothing to boast about yet, and I find that interesting.

Success attracts success, and failure...

Success attracts success - that's the claim. But then, from when you're comfortably circumstanced, don't lose sight of the fact that success can also attract failure. Remember, physics 101: 'A positively charged object will attract a negatively charged object.'

In the case of success, the negatives are leeches, b'tches, and snitches, and people who'll crack jokes around you, bring damning information about others to you, massage your ego with insincere approvals, just to get close to you, and to win your favour, or worst case cause you to fall after everything you did for them.

Be objective...

I don't think any sensible person will get worked up for being told his or her wrongs, if the person is wrong that is. But you don't also expect someone to be friendly if you always seem to find fault with his or her way of doing things, and invariably stopping short of showing him or her a better way; that's not constructive, it's detractive.

You don't just have to like something just because it's done by someone you like. When it sucks, it sucks, but if it's great, it's great; don't allow your dislike towards the doer or the agent to cloud your judgment. I know it's not easy to see a secret nemesis thriving, but really, if the accomplishment is deserved, be objective. In fact, as believers, we are told not to let our dislike of a people to incite us to act inequitably.

Some humour...

So this kid is so academically immobilised that the second to last position in class was his exclusive possession. Once he came home with his report card and this time he took last. His mom asked: "Ah, boy, why is this drop in position?" In his defence, he said: "It's not my fault mom; the one who used to take last was sick and so he didn't take the exam."

Understanding...

Coming on social media to communicate in such a way that your thoughts or ideas wouldn't be misinterpreted by anyone is almost impossible. But you can be reckful and give misreadings as little room as possible.

When you read too, it's natural to relate to certain things, or to tend to reason the communicator into what was in fact not his or her state of reasoning. The ideal assumption to make is to assume that your assumption could be wrong.

It's amazing how much one can impart to the other as well as learn from another if one seeks to understand the other.

Risk taking...

Sometimes you have to give away to gain something better, or let go to avoid an even greater loss; call it sacrifice. But you cannot call your act a sacrifice or risk taking if you're waiting for absolute assurance, if you're always looking for a means of indemnity against loss. You must have the courage to lose sight of what's at stake.

Mark Zuckerberg is said to have once told a group of young entrepreneurs that “in a world that’s changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.”

But just in case you want to risk it halfway like Zuckerberg, remember this: if you know you wouldn't be able to do it without studying it, and you know you're academically intelligent, go for it, because what went well for the goose may not go well for the gander, and knowing that a degree is a surer and more secure path to modern day success.

Just an observation...

Ask the average employee about his constraints at work and he will say "capacity building," and by that he's talking about attending another graduate or professional school to earn multiple degrees, even if unrelated to his career path, so long as he can be afforded the prestige that comes with saying "I have it," and be given a platform to do no different from what he had been doing before his extra degree, like attending meetings just to agree to disagree on replacing the word "key" with "core."

Gone is that ancient Rome era where common sense used to be a monopoly, where no matter how spontaneous and sensible the common man was, he would prefer to be seen and not heard lest he be asked with what authority does he speak. To intelligent civilisation, capacity development responses are relative, to include anything you do to strengthen your knowledge, enhance your skills, and experience, primarily to achieve your development objectives over time. You don't have to be Dr. Sainbhy to do that; sometimes all you need is the will and an unfettered mind.

I understand that Dr. has a total of 35 degrees to his credit, holding 15 masters degrees, five post-graduate diplomas, a bachelor of law, and numerous other bachelor’s degrees and certificates. First time I saw this I was like, he better be the most productive too, but I figured his is a hobby to keep collecting degrees for as long as he’s able to attend classes, not necessarily what he needs to promote the growth of those around him.

For the record, I am not opposed to education. I am a student of knowledge myself and I love it. But in my opinion, you don't have to be caused to memorise "twinkle twinkle little star," or know how "polly put the kettle on," or be certificated in it to be educated. Education is just access to information, and school is one dedicated source that provides such access, not the only source to knowledge and information.

Misplaced rage... so uncool!

When a certain annoying situation is because of your arrogance, or indifference to the consequences of the poor choices you make, it'll be very unnatural to not to feel sorry about what you did or didn't do; just don't beat yourself up over it like you're incapable of error.

But if you must put an address to your emotions about it, make sure they're bound for where they actually belong. Kicking the innocent dog for it is so misplaced, and it isn't gonna help you, the frustrating situation, or the dog. I will suggest you develop reason; it's a great virtue.

The impression your dp sends can be a lasting thing...

I don't know jack about quantum mechanics, or electromagnetic field theory, but I sure know how to connect dots, and what intolerance smells like. So IMHO, half the criticisms on here about girls using mobile photography to do their photos up are derisive and intolerant, especially when we all use one of those.

In fact, I don't get it! With all of today's absolutely free selfie-camera apps, sent from heaven to make everyone look so radiant regardless, you upload a profile pic or dp, looking like you're ecologically disappointed? That kinda bizzare naturality is uncalled for. Well, except if you're an adherent to a fatwa that proscribes it.

If you're not photogenic, don't despair; take twenty-ten shots and choose one; if The One sucks, use the filters, that's what they're meant for. Truth is, human beings are visual creatures, so it shouldn't hurt to make use of this contemporary miracle and make your first social media impression count; it can influence a lot, and in knowing that you may not get a second chance.

You can't cheat fate....

I took close to a decade off from my academic prime and dedicated it all to the game of basketball, but I couldn't turn pro, because my part was to decide and to strive to excel. It takes fate to make it happen, and that lies in the hands of God. Do I regret (mis)directing my efforts to what was never meant to be?

No, because whether I accept it or not, destiny wouldn't give a rat's ass. So I chose to appreciate that no matter how good I thought I was, how hard I thought I had worked to earn a spot, and how much I hated to luck things through, the fulfillment of my will and of things I work for will always be at the mercy of a Higher Will, a better Will.

Will you tell?

When circumstances overpower you to look into something on someone you wouldn't want to find anything on, and you (un)fortunately found something you weren't looking for, something so damning that if told, could breach that thing that made you not to want to find anything on that someone.

Then comes the awkward, perhaps interesting moment when you gotta decide whether to want to tell, or to have to tell, or just call it a secret like everyone has one, and I pray you don't have to tell because it hurts to rat out or humiliate someone that close, especially when avoidable, and in knowing that not telling doesn't always mean you can't... I'm not saying you should lie; what I'm implying is, who doesn't let go for the benefit of more than just oneself?

Boss or Bossy?

When someone undergoes an undesirable event, such as a demotion, or is stripped of authority, and those with whom he works celebrate; you and I will be like: what the hell; this guy's a hard worker?

Fair concern, because that's as far as we were made to see, but was his for the benefit of those close to him is for the colleagues and associates to answer. Usually, their reaction is not necessarily what he was able to accomplish, but his callous disregard for their feelings while at it.

So, if you're named boss because you're the person in charge, or you're just someone entrusted with the task of overseeing the work of a person or group of people, read and learn: it's to your favour to understand that there's a thin line between being result oriented and being overbearing, and to understand that no matter the pretext of trueness around you, nobody likes someone whose interest is totally void of the feelings around him.

In case you're like that...

Aniekee Tochukwu EzekielIn believes that "in the world of dogma, you become free the day you decide to go to hell.”

Well, figurative or literal, I have not decided that yet, but unless you're in some powersharing deal with God as lawgiver and judge, or as saviour or condemner, I cannot be bothered by you who constantly bring hell into our conversations, making it feel like I am already condemned and you saved. If that makes me a kufr, see you in hell. Happy Friday still!

There's a time compete and a time to collaborate...

Anyone can part with anyone and do just fine; it's as easy as screwing in the bulb and flipping the switch. As a matter of fact, we all have our I-am-happier-getting-along-with-myself moments.

But in the real world where ideas are the thing, you must emancipate yourself from vain pride and collaborate; build relationships of mutual trust and respect with others; it can be a useful part of your creative process. See how stars who do their productions and creations by collaborating with stars beyond borders blossom like their talents are on steroids.

Just dream again...

Do you sometimes wish you can go back to when peer pressure caused you to succumb to what you today see as very extreme foolish behaviours? I know; I have also been around the block a few times and I do that all the time.

Truth is, you cannot go back, but you can make up for it by dreaming again like there's never a road without a turning; you can reverse your direction and retrace your steps, that's what dreamers do, they don't stop dreaming.

From once you develop that dream-again mentality, no mood of despair fashioned against you shall prosper. So it's your call to not only have a fully funded 'I will rise' fund, but to make sure you use it.

The manager...

If your job is to manage others, it's natural for them to expect more from you, and to look to you as someone who will always do it better.

I am not asking you to do the impossible, but know that you'll be lowering morales, and more than likely kissing goodwill goodbye if you're too quick to declare a situation as one bound to end in failure simply because you're stuck.

Sometimes when a thing seems to be a no-win, think like that's what you're paid to do; rewrite the rules if you have to; that's what smart people do. At least that's what I will do, but that's perhaps an ego trip.

People are different...

Not everyone is high-key; some people just prefer to stay discreet, y'know, very low-key. Their privacy is a sanctuary, sort of. So, just because they won't label (theirs) with a hashtag, like it's not uncommon on here doesn't mean they have no stake in what's trending, or have no interest in the things they're privy to.

Most of them just prefer to let others to sit in judgment about them by the facts and not just claims. I know folks who posting stuff on social media is not their thing; they come here to see waguan and read stuff on their timelines. No matter how inspired or wowed they get, they won't react. I'm not sure if that's a good thing but my point is, people are different.

Rules...

Sometimes you wonder what good is it to you knowing the rules, if the rules you know won't matter when you need them. You wonder if rules are always rules, if an infraction or a failure to follow the rule is frowned at only when the person at fault is someone you find abrasively displeasing.

I know that feeling where you're right and treated like you're very wrong, like Ayman al-Zawahiri before a US judge; it's annoying.

But no matter how reduced your morale is caused to be, it's always a great thing to be thorough, to know the rules of your game, and to play your part by it like a pro, knowing that nothing comes in handier than knowledge of the rules. It could be your cover if you decide to kick some ass... Happy Tobaski still!

Your circle keep matters...

If you're ingenious in business and you know it, or engaged in an enterprise that has traits in common to, or better than what others are doing somewhere, and theirs seem to be faring way better than yours in every aspect, check where you're; revisit your circle. It's not always a case of tough luck. Sometimes the success of what you do depends on the solidity of the links or connections at your disposal.

If the company you keep is one of envy, joy killing, naysaying, negative influence over the choices you make, and you don't want out, forget about growing, because progress within a circle that causes you to downgrade your dreams is a wild goose chase, especially one that limits your ideas towards the direction of everyone else's directionless thoughts. Such a circle will kill your goose just so she won't lay that golden egg.

Your circle keep matters...

If you're ingenious in business and you know it, or engaged in an enterprise that has traits in common to, or better than what others are doing somewhere, and theirs seem to be faring way better than yours in every aspect, check where you're; revisit your circle. It's not always a case of tough luck, sometimes the success of what you do depends on the solidity of the connection or links at your disposal.

If the company you keep is one of envy, joy killing, naysaying, negative influence over the choices you make, and you don't want out, forget about growing, because progress within a circle that causes you to downgrade your dreams is a wild goose chase, especially one that limits your ideas towards the direction of everyone else's directionless thoughts. Such a circle will kill your goose just so she won't lay that golden egg.

Pray, it's Arafah...

God bless all those who get things done, and those wishing to, and damn anyone who serves to deter. May all detractors be put out of favour and their evil incapacitated. May we be able to conquer fuckery, see right as right, and wrong as wrong, even if we are disadvantaged by it. May we love for as well as dislike in ourselves what we love for or dislike in others, and not be selfish as to not being able to prevent the wrongs that do not directly affect our person.

Ameen!

Knowing changes everything....

So thanks to the viral announcement on here, I am now in the know that fasting on the day of Arafah is sunnah, and an expiation for two years. Considering the many petty misdeeds I indulged in, and not so proud of, I cannot say I didn't know I could wipe them clean.

It feels like the Eskimo hunter who asked the local priest whether he would go to hell if he did not know about God and sin... and the priest answered, saying: "no, not if you did not know." He asked again, and very earnestly: "then why did you tell me?"

Good question, because knowing will beset him with adherence.

Social media...

Social media is really an emotional roller-coaster. Sometimes you login and see fun things, interesting things, inspiring things - you know, things that will make you sit back and say wow, amazing!

Other times, you read some statuse updates or click on some shared link and regret why you did it. You either get so pissed off, or so sad, wondering what lies in the heart of some people.

Man, whole heap ah bad vibes and sad stories. But like I-Octane and Ky-Mani, ah yah mi deh. Mi just haffi put on mi shades of positivity, strength, and dignity, and let di stinking vibes gweh.

Rule of engagement:

Don't write a cheque if your ass can't cash it. For instance, if you find yourself engaging the attention of a high-maintenence customer service assistant, don't act all cute thinking she'll if you ask her out. It's her job to be nice on behalf of the company.

But if you must hit on her, be my guest. Just don't discount the possibility of bouncing out like a bounced cheque, or feeling gutted like a reject that you aren't, and that is if she doesn't screw you over, give you hope, and then rip it away like 'sobukay paraarch!'

Mood...

When someone who used to be so nice now appears to be abnormally sensitive, or almost continuously offended, like why the hell can't he just lighten the 'eff up, don't pass judgement unless he lays his heart open to you; unless you can see his demons, or the battles he's fighting. Understand that even the coolest of people have their bullshit tolerance limits, and the strongest their moments of fatigue.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Timing...

When you're doing the right thing at the wrong time, the lack of delicacy thereof may make it feel all wrong. This is why when someone with the right timing does exactly the same thing and everyone else's like: wow, this is what we have been waiting for, you question how folks assign recognition.

If you ask me, it may not necessarily be about you. Perhaps you only needed to wait on the right time to act. So take your time and don't make it look as if you were dragged unwillingly to it. Anna Wintour is credited with saying that: "it’s always about timing. If it’s too soon, no one understands. If it’s too late, everyone’s forgotten."

Olof Njie neh:

YaAllah sunu borom bindul kum dul reye, wye bindana nyum dul toroxal. Ku bindu ni tama nak, nyu tegga la ni tama.

Whosoever God puts into existence must undergo death, but there are those He will never cause to be humiliated. Notwithstanding, if you surrender your birthright, take foolishness for humility, or choose to be shaped like a talking-drum, you'll be beaten like one; no ifs or buts about that.

If you're too selfish, try me...

Ask my dawg Spoonhead. If you show me that you'll always put your interest above mine anytime, be sooo, so worried, because no matter how long it takes, I'll get you, and I'm gonna put mine back up, and I will press yours sooo, so hard that it'll hurt sooo, so badly.

That's how much I hate selfishness, and after all, serving one’s self-interest as the standard for every decision you make is a skill that anyone can master, especially if you're not looking forward to being a martyr to bygones.

When a blessing becomes a curse, rant.

It's official - I'm not gonna use this godforsaken car anymore. I am so bloody tired of sharing money that I obtained with a great deal of tolerance for bullshits with mechanics. So if you see me arduously trekking the streets of Serrekunda with my backpack and umbrella, don't ask: "boy ana motor bi?" I'm usually so sarcastic when irritated, and I have a way with retorts too.

Mtcheew!

I'm so done with driving a car feeling restless rather than comfortable that I'm free from having to hassle for a cab. Once an idren told me: before taking someone to the Obeah-man to cause his downfall, give him a bad car for a gift and watch him bleed dry, and he's right - I'm not ready to deal with that shit. And I didn't do this post for a pity party; I needed to get shit off my chest; I find rants like this so therapeutic.

Need is reciprocal...

When God gives you what He doesn't give to others, share with them, knowing that He has given to others what you lack, and need is a two-way traffic. In fact, I don’t think anyone can be independent to the full degree.

No matter your state of independence, you'll always be in dependence. Perhaps the depth of dependence is what we differ in. Those of moral eminence are those whose dependence doesn't subject them to servile flattery, constant bias and influence; may we be from those.

The evil known isn't necessarily worse than the evil unknown..

Before deciding on your target of outrage or disgust, remember this:

Not all who was for a single instance caught red-handed is as bad as you think, and just because someone isn't caught in the act yet doesn't mean the person is as immaculate as I was at twelve.

In other words, there are low-key perverts, subtle whores, hidden junkies and thieves within the criminal underworld that we don't know yet, or are perhaps too invulnerable to exposure. Yalna sutura yaaga rek, and do have a great week ahead.

Success and criticisms...

Youssou N'dour and Michael Jordan will remain constant in greatness and success; you know why? Their control over their emotions and actions when criticised is amazing, especially knowing how critics will always find something to say.

Youssou believes that one should try to rid his mind of baseless criticisms, because they're dissuasive (bullen falleh denj la tarrdel). He said he prefers the short-grain rice (chep bu sehw) to bickering (wakh bu sehw). MJ on the other hand is busy being his own critic; naturally having no time to argue or dismiss what's being said about him.

That's what's up - from when the standards you set for yourself are higher than the standards set for you by rat-asses, you wouldn't give a rat's ass about the rat-assery of the rat-ass. But if you know you're going to display an inordinate sensitivity to what others say about you, be nobody, say nothing, do nothing, and stand for nothing; it's that simple!

He's educated, just differently...

I know a kid who growing up was the smartest I have ever seen. He reads everything he finds readable, and whatever he reads, he understands, and once he understands, he doesn't forget. Survival knocked him into a different lifestyle. But when he realised he wasn't being fair to his gift, he wanted out, get a decent job and lead a better life, but the system won't just allow him.

Dude's hardcore autoditact, consumes knowledge like he consumes weed. Anyone he interacts with is always wowed by what he can do, but he can't get hired because a degree is a requirement he doesn't have. If he could/should he would've gone to college just to get it over with, but his ego wouldn't let him waste that much time and money that he doesn't have.

So here's what he did: because he knows they know what he knows, and what he could know if he wants to, he took advantage of it, read rule books, regulations and manuals of companies that wouldn't hire him, draws their attention to loopholes that he could patch or write for them. Now he earns a living by being consulted for help like that; a ghost consultant sort of.

And you wonder why the disconnect?

But even if God Himself should come down and say: here people, take this and divide it equally between yourselves, there will be some who will reject their share NOT only for not having more, but for not having more than everyone else.

Some will keep theirs and try to negotiate the rest. Funny enough, there will be fools amongst the lot who'll gladly surrender theirs, and before long, the surrenderees will start to walk all over the surrenderers, making them scapegoats, and treating them like who the hell do you expect to respect a doormat?

Same is boring...

As human beings, we do not have to think, love, or see things alike to coexist, because even if not impossible, it will be so boring to tune in to the same carrier wave all the time, as whatever it is, and no matter how interesting, the thing will become so tired through overuse. If you ask me, the goal is to function in harmony without prejudice to our different likings and mental tendencies.

Smart folks..

If your dream is to make a living by making someone else's dreams, go for it. If the benefit you receive in addition to the normal benefits of holding your job, a raise, or a promotion makes you so happy, or is the standard by which you measure success, salam! Me, the fact that I am providing labour to another person for a salary makes me feel unsmart. But that's just me.

In my opinion, smart people don't wait to be employed, they create it; they go against the odds, break out of deep dependence to make new identities for themselves. They hardly indulge gossips or seek advantage at the expense of colleagues or the greater good. They are busy networking: interacting with like-minded people, getting new ideas and contacts, bargaining and negotiating business deals.

Confusion...

About events of this day and age, if you're confused, keep calm and know that you're not alone. Everyone is just as confused as everyone else. I think those who are good at seeming less confused are because we expect them to know, and since they don't want to dilute that perceived image, they play along, knowing none dares drop the 'whoa' or 'WTF!' tone on them.

This is why you see folks commenting on here and writing like it's a toddler messing with their keyboards, still thinking they're suitable and their opinions relevant; like the confused confusing the confused by attempting to convince them that he knows. If you're hardcore-confused, you tend to get so desperate that you can't but wish to do, think, and see what he wants you to... but maybe I'm just still confused.

Does stupid exist?

Albert Einstein is credited with saying that "everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

I remember when I used to come home disgusted by what I believe to be inexcusable ignorance or stupidity, mom will admonish me to stop judging everyone by my own standards. She said I will forever be defeated of my expectations if I should keep expecting everyone to think, see, or feel the way I do, because people are different, with different backgrounds, beliefs, and upbringing. To her, everyone's intelligent in a different way.

So, you're not stupid just because you're not sufficiently informed, skilled or knowledgeable at one thing. But in case you're being accused of it, don't massage your ego yet; in as much as I want to agree that no one is stupid, I think there are some of us who do not know what to do with our intelligence, and that misfortune is not unlike stupidity.

When you're wrong....

When you 'eff up, like I do all the time, admit, knowing that you will be a psychopath to expect someone else to be whipped for your wrongs in the stead.

If you're in the habit of admitting to being wrong, even when you're right and you know you're right, but just because someone else can't face the fact that you're right, STOP IT. Separate yourself from that Uriah Heep type of behaviour.

Fine is fine...

Fitness motivators, particularly those who encourage squats and deadlifts say:

"with great buttucks comes great responsibility." 

I don't know about that, but what I do know is: a girl with a fine physique can conquer the world. If she can ignore the hate to take control of her destiny that is. Nicki Minaj is living proof of this opinion.

Learn to let go....

In this day and age, the realest thing to know, and definitely worth being cognizant of is that you'll in an undeserved manner fall victim to a whole lot of trash, betrayals and lies so bizarre and from folks so close that you wouldn't even understand.

But no matter what, and for one thing, LIFE GOES ON. So if a thing is hurting you, weighing you down or wasting your time, let it go and move on like you can't afford to be left behind. It may not be as easy as I'm putting it; I know that, but the best decisions in life are disquietening at their first.

Photo Credit: @Tyrese

Just saying...

If the woman of your dream is every man's ideal woman, and you're lucky to have her, don't just get used to her and forget that she's still the woman that every man wants.

You must constantly step up your game, if you're going to keep her from being an object of rivalry. Now you may use recasts to suggest the same for a man of every woman's wish.

Indiscretion...

If you make your decision based on rumour going round, or ditch someone on account of what was said to have been said or heard by some person about that person, without considering the risks and consequences, or even questioning the accuracy of the claim, you will someday look back with blame directed at none other than yourself, as by your conscience, wishing that you had acted differently.

But the saddest part of it all is that the ability to rouse your emotions from bad guidance like that, and to initiate or resume that cordial relationship you once had with people will come but usually too late, and sometimes you cannot predict the reaction of the injured. So, best thing is: never make a decision without much thinking about it, especially decisions motivated by what the devil's cousin of an okra-mouth said; it will more than likely be greatly exaggerated.

Street passion...

Growing up, my dream job used to be one that will afford me the opportunity to dress like this to work; it still is.

I never admired necktie men; I thought it was the Rastaman in me, but I still don't.

I used to see the high-level ones as either greedy or miserly, and the rank and file as overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated stooges; I still do.

I never trusted their strategies, or as one worthy to be followed, no matter how cute; I still don't. But that's just me and my beliefs.

Mind what you collect...

When someone who cannot be counted on for anything throws away a thing, and you pick that thing up, it wouldn't benefit you in any way.

Pay attention to what you collect and from whom you collect; you don't want to end up with an undeserved liability, it will only piss you off.

Fear can do exactly what loyalty does...

In Fast 7, Ramsey (the hot hacker) said: "Life is binary; zero and ones. Only two things keep a group like this together; fear or loyalty....." She was referring to the 'Fast and Furious' team.

In other words, someone who's deterred by fear of what he stands to lose if he does otherwise will naturally do exactly what loyalty does; whether unconditional is what I doubt. So, not every enduring cooperation, every fan base (offline or online), or affection towards you and yours is genuinely loving.

Not deceitful, it's "the-seat-full"

More than half the time, your privation, loss, or want of certain things is not on account of reluctance or lack of generosity on the side of the person with some sort of responsibility for you.

Usually, it's those self-appointed opinion offerers close at hand to him who deprive you; those dangerous twifaced, barefaced-self-seeking-servile-liars and fawning parasites.... Phew!

Proverbs 12:5 says: "the plans of the righteous are just, but the advice of the wicked is deceitful." Anyway, it's not like their deceit will divert what God prefers for you, I am just saying, in case you want to blame the innocent for your loss.

Beware!

You know you've a big problem in hand if you happen to be a supervisor, a boss, or an executive and you're fated with a "liarholic" of a subordinate, one suffering from "liarrhea" perhaps, as in constant urge to lie. The person will lie not necessarily for any personal gain, but because (s)he has a broken relationship with the truth.

To this person, devising elaborate lies against everyone and about everything feels right and enlivening. But if you think it's a good thing that (s)he rats on and about everyone else’s business but his or hers, and because you're getting informed, rest assured that whatever (s)he knows about yourself is already an open secret somewhere. And God help you if such an individual causes you to cease to be on friendly terms with good people.

Let's find the root cause....

Headllines like these make me sick. Maybe it's about bloody time we distinguish between the radical, the extremist, or the fundamental, and the true author of what's today being dubbed radicalism, extremism, or fundamentalism. Let's be fair enough to distinguish between the cause and the effects of the sad situations of this world.

How can a certain tight-knit circle of empathy-deficient individuals with no creed, and no morals shove their rules on the world the way they want it and not expect violence in response? Someone said: "there's nothing more dangerous than a true believer on his own crazy mission," and I'll say even more dangerous when provoked and scornfully touted.

The honest will always be honest...

Once upon a time, when I was in Brikama - Kabafita school to be precise, I found a purse full of cash, took 5 from it to buy "neni ngunja." Mom found out, recovered the rest, figured out that the pay mistress was at the school earlier, so it must be salary paid to one of the teachers, and in fact it was my own teacher's; the money was returned.

This evening, while getting out of the taxi that I hired to pick my car from the mechanic, I dropped my wallet, with cash enough to pay for a brake (master) cylinder, filters and workmanship. As I was taking tally of my impending spending, I realised that my wallet was gone. Naturally, the raggedy looking guy is the usual suspect, and because I knew I couldn't have lost it anywhere far.

So I called a cob friend to ask if it was okay to search the guy myself; his phone was off. Before I could lijanteh another number, I saw this veiled middle-aged woman coming towards me. "Are you Omar?" I knew she found my wallet, because in it was a card bearing my name, but in what state she found it was what I was about to find out. She said: "my kid found this wallet, gave a 100 to his friend and brought the rest for safe keeping. When I asked he said he found it here, and it's a good thing that you're here." She gave me back my wallet and wanted to go just like that. I had to beg that she takes my gift as a token of gratitude and admiration.

Two things: whatever you do, good or bad, and no matter how long it takes, it will be done back to you, and like seriously, I sometimes lose confidence and hope in the honesty of humankind, but it's always a wonderful feeling to realise that whilst there are some who will not hesitate to get their hands in your pocket, there are those who embody the fact that no matter what, honest people will always exist in this world. I just pray so we may know and celebrate them.

Lying as a social skill...

According to some psychologists, lying is a necessary social skill, especially in the maintenance of a good relation. I have seen folks who have always been in practice of the craft in the name of protecting their partners' hearts, and we mistake their success at it for charm.

But, I must add that such lies should be reasonable and consistent, not one that will eat away your ability to tell the truth. Never be renowned for being a lying bag of shit, it will cause folks to cease to believe in you, even if you're telling the truth, and you know how awkward that can be.

Curb the needless jealousy...

You cannot stop your woman from being needlessly jealous, or live with her happily ever after, if you cannot be as nice, or as considerate and as compassionate to her as you're to other women. So, if she's constantly at it, see if you aren't in fact putting an incorrect address on your amorous attentions.

Know that from when she said "yes," it became your duty to make her feel safe and comfortable, and to make her believe that you're lucky to have found her.

My friend, if you want to inspire single folks like myself, make your bond attractive and stop being a lion at home, and a lamb outside, for it makes no sense flirting with someone else's woman like you don't have one already, or like you were forced into the union. AND, never mind, let me go and watch "wiri wiri;" that Zozo guy inspires me.

Obama, the Baraka "Blessing"

I think I have become not only a fan, but a self-appointed praise singer. LOL! But really, he who does the admirable will naturally be admired. See how ma'am Winfrey's clutching Obama's hand, the look; a show of wonder mingled with approbation that with all the inequality, segregation, discrimination, deprivation, and the conspiracy to reduce the minority to lowliness and submission, this black man from a multicultural upbringing has risen amongst us, requiring no other proof, argument or explanation of the fact that all men are created equal.

Here's "Hope" embodied. A man who refused to be limited by his given identity, elected President of the United States, changed not only the complexion of the White House but to a great extent the direction, evidenced by his many "heroic firsts." He broke records, tried the untried, rewrote history, and ruled like I wish he could be given another four years. He's created leadership initiatives across the globe, raised expectations, refuted the prejudice that black folks are anti-education and anti-achievement, and continually ensuring that he's not just "The One," but one of many who are as good, who just need the chance to take a shot. Here's greatness!

Know who's there for what...

Not all who habitually come to you during your difficult moment are there to give comfort. There are those that the Jamaicans call: 'the carry go, bring come.' So, turn your pains into wisdom and know the type and extent of information to vonunteer.

Remember the Wolof proverb: "jappal ma ehnni la, du sawar la ehnni rek, laygo layg bugga xam li nga ehnu la." (Not all who offer to help you with what you're carrying on your head are genuine helpers, some are only motivated to see what you are carrying).

Street professionals...

Ask the pseudo-intellectual what he thinks about street folks, and four allegations will manifest: unstable, uneducated, unwilling to work, and dishonest. You know, like a losing genre? But tell you this: I see more business minded folks in the streets than in corporate circles. In fact, half the upper middle class got no initiative. Their enterprises are at the mercy of money provided as funds. But even at that, they can't advance without a consultant, for inspiration on how to write a business plan, and a couple weeks training on entrepreneurship. Still good, but that formality makes me laugh.

Give the street nigga a used gadget and tell him how much you want for it. Two days he brings your cash and keeps his commission, but that is if he doesn't pimp out that gadget to get two more for it; that's how ingenious he is. Two, three commissions is enough to start his own thing. Seen a nigga sell phone chargers for a living, today he's the proud owner of "xxx mobiles." That's what's up! The street professionals that I know don't stay employed, not because they're arrogant, but because they're creators, and excuse the brag but a salary can't afford a creator's lifestyle.

Formal education? Go tell that to your everyday working-class; I mean those around with D150 pair of "full shoes." Haven't you seen Spud Webb dunk over 7 footers? Isn't Tupac Shakur's life and works being studied by Uni students of history and poetry? The other day, I was reading a business journal and I saw educated professionals grumbling about their uneducated employers. I was like: wow, shouldn't it be the reverse? Funny much! Now I feel I gotta turn these lines into rap lyrics - hehe!

Compassion begets compassion...

If you can, do it; it constitutes moral excellence. But I wouldn't blame anyone for not feeling for, or being indifferent to the plight of someone whose condition is an evident consequence of ill will, of decisions motivated by selfishness, of ego-serving choices, favour-seeking actions, or unwillingness rather than inability to do what's right.

Really, after been afforded the opportunity to learn from the bad guidance of those who break others to make themselves, and having been afforded the chance to do what's right, if you still choose to abuse your conscience like that, until fate twists, any show of pity that comes your way will definitely be a fluke, for you can't reap compassion when callousness was what you sowed.

Time to make a change...

Proceeding with the decision to stop at high school, and to try to become an autoditact of wide recognition someday, sometimes scares the hope out of me, especially when I see some of my peers on here in graduation gowns. I don't tell but I ask myself: am I being misguided? Should I go back to school while I can, and kick ass like I know I can? But maybe the best decisions in life are always scary.

Anyway, today a new decision is made, and thank you Uncle Ousman! This man had always made me the richest kid in spirit and support and I am grateful. Growing up, I did things; crazy things; things that I am not proud of. But anytime he's in town and we speak, he always has this profound influence on me; always been a source of inspiration and admiration. Well, I am one mytery of a guy and I know that, but I hope this time, I will make him proud. So help me God.

Tariqah, my observations...

I don't know much about Tariqah (order of Sufism), or its spiritual teachings and practices geared towards seeking Haqiqah (ultimate truth). As a matter of fact, I don't even know which specific path or Islamic denomination I subscribe to. I just follow what makes sense to me.

But one thing I can testify about those who follow the path is their love for brotherhood. Whenever one is in need, from Medina to Kaduna, Touba to Harlem, and you're introduced as a Talib (seeker), rest assured that you'll be treated as family, and that's something worthy of respect and emulation.

Try to maintain one face... two sucks!

In any social group, and especially a place of work, decency demands that you do what's right, and say what's gotta be said without being contemptuous of course, or forever hold your peace. But if you want to be blinded by your desire for favours and say what's appealing to the ear regardless, the call is yours.

Rest assured that when the truth that you massaged comes out, like it always does, and you're found responsible for giving an insincere impression, the one you were trying to mislead is gonna get so, so mad, and you'll be so, so sorry. Bruce Bickelt said "it is better to be divided by truth than united in error."

Withholding won't make you rich...

Being frugal or exercising prudence in spending is a great thing, but truth is, you don't get rich by unwilling to spend; you'll only be accruing your needs and the expenses thereof. In other words, you don't get rich by withholding yours and living off someone else's. Ali Ibn Abi Talib was reported to have said: “Be like the flower that gives its fragrance to even the hand that crushes it.” Our beautiful faith teaches that the only time you should withhold is when it's for necessary living, for the hand that gives is better than the hand that takes.

Mom used to say if wealth is about to come your way, it will appear as if the entire universe is conspiring to make you rich. You will be given contracts, co-opted into paying committees, be invited to sit at tables without you lobbying. Money will come left, right and centre. This is why you see celebrities spending as if they're not saving, and making more from endorsements than their career signings, or a certain CEO sitting in 10 extras boards other than his. Me? I have this philosophy that if wealth was the ultimate result of saving, your grandma that had a kondanneh (piggy bank sort of) from when you were six would've been rich by now. But how many times did she not call you to help break it open because of an emergency?

Business in the midst of poor folks...

Did you ever try making a couple mill doing business with one-thousandaires? I did; so despairing. In fact, I figured even if I should steal a grand from nine hundred and ninety nine of 'em, I'll still need to rob one more to get a mill.

So it's not only the demand that matters, it's the material possession of the market around you; the ability to buy what you're selling. The hyena when asked who's the most ungenerous pointed to a poor guy and said "he is." When asked why, he said: "beg him and see." But that's just an allegory.

Motivation...

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Yoga pants are hot.
If not on a diaper butt.

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
If you must fall victim,
because it's in fashion,
pay attention to being differently fashioned.

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Dead lifts and squats can be a pain.
Double the sore, you'll double the gain.

But if you ask me, with all of today's dress options to choose from, why not choose that which works best for your shape and bring out your personality. It's not a must to dress in a way that will make you feel uncomfortable or look sloppy and saggy; that's oppressive.

Colleagues, not necessarily friends...

Work colleagues can be friends, but it's not a sure thing. In fact, if you're looking for someone with the courage to stand up for you, cross out a colleague who's painfully desirous of an advancement in position, and God help you if you're the holder of that target position.

Most of them will trade their honour, their use, and compassion for it, and will cunningly expose you to loss and pretend to be helping you to grieve over it. But from when you're observant, you'll realise that whatever opinion they give is bound for their own interest... reason why it never ends well with them.

So, I phoned in...

These two AfriRadio presenters wanted to know the difference between an artist(e) and a musician. The number to call was 1076. One called, and after establishing the referents of the terms said we unfortunately don't have any round here.

I usually just listen to radio and mind my business, but I believe that was a very courageous mistake. So for the first and probably the last time ever, I phoned in, and this was my take:

Artist is one who creates art as an occupation or hobby, and any form of art for that matter. The musician is one who is into the art of music - from composer, to the one who sings and those who play the instruments. Artiste with an "e" is a public performer, especially of a song or dance.

So you can deny our dexterity, and even our qualification to perform all you want, but you cannot say we don't have any. I am using the adjective "our" because I am an artist, skilled at absolutely nothing.

Progress is a slow process...

The process of progress takes time, but each step draws you closer. If you think nothing in your life is advancing, throwback to your photos of a decade or so; reflect on those days when your top life ambition was to own a khaftanni jahkar, Windbreaker, a pair of hightop Nike sneakers, and a FUBU cap.

Once upon a time; in fact, not so long ago, this young lady wears just anything to inter-house games, be it kaba, a robe or dagit. Today, she cries over what shoes to choose for Gee's concert/comback; you see how things change? It's just unfortunate that a lot of us have bad memories.

Lessons from wiri wiri...

I didn't watch it, but the noticeable jubilance after tonight's episode of "wiri wiri" is proof that treachery, backstabbing and underhandedness are the most loathed vices of our time, but Ironically the most widely perpetrated. Isn't it so sad and baffling that people love the good and still hold onto the bad?

Stagnant community...

When every member of a community is busy looking into some other member of the community's something, either out of envious notice or desire of something possessed by the other, or just for the heck of it, every member of that community becomes so protective, defensive, reactive or self-preservative, so as to minimise risk or harm. But then the faculty of inventing or being an ingenious community is defeated. But that's none of my business.

Innovation...

Listen!
If you want something new, you must be willing to try something new - and even if new is not your thing, Thomas Edison said: "there's always a way to do it better - find it."

Albert Einstein is to a great degree credited with saying that: “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results."

The lazy talents...

Those whose talent is at the mercy of their lack of tenacity will hardly do better than themselves, because they're usually so scornfully negative, so invested in hatred and baseless criticisms, as if they know better.

If you know someone like this, like I think you do, let me tell you one open secret about them: their biggest fear is seeing your confidence in your ability growing bigger and better despite their energetic dislike... don't you ever abate.

Truth today...

I can't remember the song title, but in it, Dr. Youssou N'dour said something like: if you open your door to entertain nothing but the truth, don't be afraid of loneliness, and do brace yourself for unpopularity, because only a few will come knocking.

Today, truth is so bastardised to mean anything that best suits tastes, desires and expectations. It doesn't have to be a genuine depiction or a statement of reality. Forget about integrity; just say what people want to hear, what makes them comfortable, and validate what they choose to display and you're truthful.

So convenient!
Nauzubillah!

Dear kid,

Sometimes you may feel you can now handle anything, that your mom nags a lot, probably so demanding, but believe me, anytime she talks that much, it's about the poor choices you make, for no other person can be as serving, intending or wishing to protect you as she will.

All she wants is what's best for you, not just what you find comfortable. So, "live and let live" may be suitable for application by anyone but a mother determined to fulfill her parental role. You may not realise this until you grow older, and even sadder if she's no longer around to "interfere" in your affairs, that's when you know you'll always need that protection.

Sincerely,
Someone been there, done that!