Misplaced Priorities!

I need to say this; and I am not trying to be antisocial or something, but just take a moment and think about it. I am sure y’all have seen someone holding someone in the wrong, simply because one of them couldn’t grace the other one's ceremony with his/her presence; I am saying “his/her”, because I have seen men do it these days

If you ask me, I think it is so insensible to haul someone over the coals, or stop talking to someone simply because you had an event and that person couldn’t be in attendance; especially when you could more sensibly take the substance of his/her excuse into consideration. At times the apologies are legit.

Sometimes the timing and spontaneous nature of festivities may not be to everyone’s advantage; or maybe an invitee was so broke that he/she couldn’t afford the ‘semi-obligatory’ gifts or the requisite ‘Ashobi’; or possibly your ceremonies have become so many and so ‘lucrative’ that someone’s now gotten so pissed; anything’s possible.

**BUT to tell the truth, you cannot throw more than ‘twenty-ten’ ceremonies in one season and expect everyone to make your day on all of them, ‘Lorlu Du Dem!’

You see, I know all these because where I live, every slight event is cause for festivity; folks will distribute candy as token of invitation to some toddler’s “Baffday” or ‘Kindergarten Graduation’; or they’ll do a ‘Taki-Gorr’ and then an elaborate ‘Taka’; ‘Muur’, ’Jaybal’, ‘Endoo-Sait’, ‘Yorbu-Wolis’, ’Ndey-Ndikeh’, ‘Samba-Sohor’, ‘Tana-Mbirr’, ‘Nyambo’ then ‘Ngenteh’; ‘Nuyou Bayi Compin’, ‘Sayti Yayi Tuur’, ‘Ngomarr’, ‘Yekal-Gorro’, ‘Waache-Kamil’, ‘Premier-Njekeh’, ‘Ziar Demkati Mecca’, ‘Terangal-Oujajj’ and the ‘Oujajj’ will be forced to give some ‘Yorbal’ that he/she didn’t cater for…. and so forth, and so on!

Now who has the stamina for all these in ONE season? LOOK! Is not like you’re being rebellious or rude, if you have a genuine apology for not attending someone’s event, just try and make up for it, and that is if you can; but if the person is rigidly like: “Yow Bahulor, Lutah Nyowulo Suma Porogaram Bi?” Tell him/her to leave you in peace; you can only go to a “Porogaram” when you’re able to; nobody’s obsession should constitute an urgent situation on you.

Moral Decay!

Before civility slapped us in the face, our part of the world used to be one place where even the word ‘sex’ was unmentionable. Sadly, [d]evolution came and swept away that singular identity; our minds got opened YES, but the hearts became bleak. The bracket of tolerability made wider and morals more or less gone astray; HOLY LORD!!! Now we don’t only go on about that ‘S’ word, we employ it against one another.

Social media blazed a trail for folks who find it okay to treat ‘former-friends’ and ex-lovers as evil creatures who must be ruined at all costs; to turn relationships into ‘relation-shits’. Friends, spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends developed into imminent enemies; each one holding onto the other person’s top secret, patiently waiting to let it slip as soon as what they've is no longer beneficial.

See, my mom [God bless her wise soul] once told me, that being a gentleman or lady is not about “swag” or “chic”, it is one who’s well-mannered and considerate, one who has a high standard of proper behaviour; one whose good manners include the preservation of good relations, even with ‘EXs’. It may be easier said than done, but it is doable. These rare breed of incredible human beings are not “losers”; they’re endowed with a gift of ‘fortitude to accept’.

They realise that nothing is permanent; not even the title of a ‘Permanent Secretary’, and that when a relationship is over, there is nothing left to fight over, but in view of the fact that the two involved have had a history of great experiences, cherishing some of those moments, outgrowing pettiness and pushing aside emotions is the best thing to do. They appreciate the fact that even if intimacy is expired, the good values of a once beautiful companionship shouldn't.

Granted, feeling betrayed is a clumsy thing to contend with, especially by someone you called a best friend, someone you had put your time to, someone you used to listen to; BUT LISTEN, do you want the person to grace you with a faithless presence, or would you rather let go and maintain the peace?

What are you trying to achieve by sullying and smearing the image of the individual? Can’t you consider those moments that made that person feel comfortable to trust you with what you’re now exposing? Why are you taking joy in revealing someone’s dirty laundry on social media? Why do you want to defame, discredit or bring shame on a reputation that you’ll never be able to rebuild? Aren't you in some way showing the world the type of backstabber, blackmailer, gossipmonger and betrayer you can be to everyone else?

I thought I should say this!

Even The Brain Needs An Antivirus!

No disrespect to the Creator’s creation, but I think the inventor of the CPU (Central Processing Unit) of the computer took inspiration from the human brain, because the two are not unlike; of course with the exception of very special instances talked about in the good books and the Chinese made brains.

Hahatai! Asatafirullah! but it’s an analogy anyway OASN, I believe that every person is born with a brain that is totally unlived in, waiting to be fed with essential and sometimes redundant software; or call them programs and operating information. The software installation gets done in the course of dealings with things, parents, peers, teachers, role models, mentors, media, etc.

Like all common computer programs, there are viruses, hackers and other infective agents that are raring to infect the system. In the case of the brain, such agents typically consist of those who’re green with envy, narcissists, dream-killers, killjoys, sycophants, sociopaths, hypocrites, liars, cheaters, mischief-makers, lowlifes, rumormongers, self-seeking retards and the rest.

Without proactive combat, these viruses can have very detrimental effects on your psyche, such as corrupting your system and destroying your dreams, your decency and every other moral value you may possess. That's why, you got to get yourself a very strong antivirus; you know that software that the IT people install on their system to detect and destroy viruses.

***BUT shout out to God for that free antivirus in the form of humankind’s natural wariness; under no circumstances should you lose yours; and make sure you ‘run’ it before deciding on who is harmless or harmful; look into every bloodclaat smile, see if it reaches the eyes of the one smiling before making room for him/her.

Like The Boss [Rick Ross] said: “some people will crack jokes just to get close to you” and to get details about you, to misrepresent those details, call you names or even reduce you to rubble, because their finest day is contingent on your most awful day, but by God and the antivirus, they’ll never see you stall....Blessed Love