Overloaded piece!

This is probably my most overloaded piece of the year, but who cares; just listen. Never pretend to dislike a thing simply because it is too far or too high for your reach, and do not speak ill of a lady just because she’s too hot for you, and in knowing that you have absolutely no chance with her. Do not pretend to be right about someone just because the person doesn't bother to correct the errors you believe of him. Just because your opinion seems to be popular on here doesn’t make it right. It is still an opinion. People are sometimes just tactful enough to afford you immunity to being told how irrational you sound.

At the time of doing this piece and by my timer, it was 0 days, 8 hours, 59 minutes, 20 seconds until Friday, 1 January 2016, so it is a New Year already. Let the goal be to work on our ways by investing more of our time and energy in ourselves, our own businesses and in our own happiness. But that‘s not my New Year’s Resolution; mine as usual is not to be bothered by resolutions that are going to be abandoned by the 3rd of January or latest 14th of February, knowing that some of us will set very reachable goals but won’t bother to accomplish them, because we are too faithful to know that "man proposes, God disposes." 

Granted, ours is to make plans and resolutions, and God’s is to ultimately decide success or failure. However, let us bear in mind that God’s decisions are mostly permissive. Meaning, He grants us right to achieve our goals based on our will and determined attempts. So in my seemingly irreligious opinion, no amount of success-engendering prayer you do or seek from alleged holy people in this world will matter if you’re not willing to go the extra mile. And about “extra mile,” Jeff Dixon said: “there is never a traffic jam created from people going the extra mile.” 

Perhaps the only achievable thing that doesn’t require extra mile or struggle is love. So if that thing you have and call it love starts to feel painful and upsetting, or is gradually becoming devoid of consideration, loyalty and a sincere concern for you, be it resolved that what you have is but an unreasonable attraction that will have absolutely no lasting benefit. - I wish y’all a wonderful 2016!

Create a job... don't just look for a job.

“The Social Network” is a 2010 film about a Harvard undergrad and computer genius Mark Zuckerberg (played by Jesse Eisenberg). It was about Mark beginning work on a new concept in his dormitory room that eventually turned into the global social network known as Facebook. Six years later, Mark became one of the youngest billionaires ever.

In that movie, someone said something that moved me. He said: "Harvard University undergraduates believe that inventing a job is better than finding a job” and I can confirm that. See Bill Gates, Mark, Dustin Moskovitz, Matt Damon etc. Some of these people didn’t even draw their studies to a close. So Ivy League or not, it doesn’t matter, our school systems should also inspire motivations like that; it’s our only way forward.

It is unfortunate that some of us were taught to become job seekers rather than job creators, and that is why amongst us, you’ll find trained “engineers” and “computer scientists” doing tedious jobs, with the high stress of having to get at their desks on time, because they’re working for someone else’s time and dime, throwing away their abilities for a salary that they keep bitching about.

If you ask me, and going forward, I think we should understand that we cannot all become bureaucrats and be earning salaries at the expense of taxpayers. Some of us will have to create our own identities. The latter may not be a rapid boost on our egos - and by “ego” I mean sense of self-importance, but it is an indication that we at least have a sense of consequence.

Ethics over etiquettes....

Flawless etiquettes and flawed ethics, that's what it is. Thankfully, I am never unnerved by a bunch of cutleries placed in front of my plate, like somebody wants to see if I am going to pick the wrong fork for my salad, or whether I will use my hands to eat the main course. Those ridiculous rules, whether considered socially acceptable behaviour or not don’t bother me. My goal in going to the eatery is to eat, and how I eat is entirely my business. My principle is to use my right hand and don’t eat greedily.

Sometimes your society is so inconceivable in their ideology of adhering to rules that came from I don't know where . Like: “Hey boy, be a gentleman, don’t you know you need to wait for the lady to start before you can start eating." Oh! Really? What if she ordered some food that will take ages to be served; are you going to hang in there starving with your sandwich?

What disturbs me is lateness, going into the bathroom and not flushing the damn toilet, or going in there to take ‘selfies’ while people are waiting outside feeling so pressed, and if you really need to fix a makeup or use the sink for some reason, clean it after you’re done, knowing that those waiters that clean up after you are also human; it is called good manners. In fact, with all your restaurant protocol abiding tendencies, have you ever left a tip?

Honesty...

If you ask the average believer, they'll tell you that lowering the gaze and guarding one's modesty, as in waging Jihad against the sight, and avoiding sexual explicitness is the most challenging thing to do. However, an even more challenging thing to sustain is absolute honesty, to include but not limited to a complete sense of faithfulness, sincerity, and fairness.

You may sit there making yourself believe, or feeling sure about your state of honesty, or attributing it to the people you like or admire, and expecting everyone to be honest like that, but only to hate them the moment their honest opinions get in the way of your expectations. Now tell me, in all honesty, are you honestly honest? For my part, I know I flop at being honest more times than I can remember, because I am sometimes not even honest with myself.

You can have a dreamland here and one hereafter...it is possible!

If you want to extol chrometophobia as a virtue, be my guest. In fact it’s none of my business. But in as much as you hate money, you cannot refute the fact that it is a necessity of life. I am aware of the notion that money cannot purchase a home in heaven, only good deeds can do that for you, and I know it cannot buy you happiness either, but tell me money doesn’t make you the happiest and I will tell you: huh!?

As it happens, money can afford you a simulation of paradise on earth, a real-life fairy tale mansion in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, with gardens beneath which the fine sea flows, and the brightness of the sand at the beaches glow. If you don’t mind, you can even meet the expenses of 72 dark-eyed honeys on the side, and claim simulated martyrdom. But that’s not the goal. 

Now imagine having both material and spiritual well-being, a paradise here and a paradise hereafter, and it’s possible. All you need to do is to start by going against the odds, break out of that mediocre social position that you think you’re predestined to be in, climb up the social ladder, it’s nobody’s private property; create a new identity for yourself, and be grateful for getting there, be generous and giving, for kindness itself is an act of worship.... Thank me for this piece when we meet in paradise.

Men cry, it's normal...

Listen! You don't have to repress your emotions in the name of "men don't cry." That's nonsense! It's the 21st Century not 423BC. What makes a man today is determination, not size or pretended absence of sensitivity. So if you're a guy that's easily affected by emotions, even as easily as having tears released due to watching a very sad movie, don't sweat, you're not alone. I do that all the time.

The other day, without conscious awareness, I shed tears watching a Nigerian movie, because the heartless producer caused some abandoned single mother to die soon as her kids became well off, only when I thought it was about time they turn her sufferings into perfect happiness. Me, even Kevin Durant's first MVP award speech made me cry, but that's because it was touching. Now if that's considered unmasculine, then maybe unmasculine is in fact what's normal.

Unsung talents...

On the street of La Rambla in central Barcelona, I saw beggars, a lot of beggars, but they don't just sit and beg, they do or offer something to turn their begging into a legitimate profession. They use their God-given talents to make some cash from tourists and local pedestrians. On display were human statues, acrobats, clowns, trained animals, and a lot of other novelty acts.

Creative enterprise if you ask me, and that's what's up, because you don't expect to get things for free in this human Kingdom that anybody can do anything to anyone. Trust me, even if something appears to be free, you'll have to pay in some way. I guess that's something our own folks are yet to know. Or maybe folks prefer to sit by ATMs, supermarkets and mosques, eliciting pity and receiving coins in return, because we probably wouldn't give a rat's arse to their talents if they had done likewise; we are pity patrons.

The other day I saw a video of a guy juggling his hat with his legs, hands and head, in a manner more artful than what Ronaldinho does with a football. I don't know what nationality he is, but I could tell he is definitely an African in Africa. Do you know what he got in return? A few applauds and an exhausted self. Meanwhile, videos of him are going viral on here, but he's afforded nothing to show for his fame, because being poor like him gives him no such rights to determine who may show his performance and on what conditions. Sad thing!

Can you afford it...

You make less than 5Gs (GMD) a month, with bills plus overheads a lil above 6, requiring you to prioritise your priorities, and you want to party or be competitive about material possessions with someone on vacation with a holiday plan?

Okay! But you may end up pawning all your good stuff, if you've any left that is, because you may not want to ask your buddies for a bailout wearing luxury fashion jeans, Versace jewelery and a pair of Jordans. I am guessing that'll compromise your pretended purchasing power, right? Cute!

Kids mimic...

Decadence started when we said goodbye to propriety, and not only did we modify, but also bastardised our use of swear words, especially towards our children. Once upon a time, if you do something warranting rebuke, mom or dad will tell you something like: "Hey! Demaa nyeff sa tulliwaan bi deh."

As crude as it sounds, it is just a decorative way to say: "I'll slap you" - "Tulliwaan bi" according to my Olof guru means eardrum and "nyeff" means to beat. Now people like me don't even euphemise what we want to say, we go straight to the point, like: "dema lifin sa...." you know the rest.

So, the sooner we realise that kids imitate what adults do, and that the generation after us is going to be but a consequence of what we raised, the better for generations to come.

Just loosen up!

I like events where there are no formal specifications of acceptable attire. It is more fun and free from restraint. In fact, if truth be told, if not for the effect of contemporary confusion upon our beliefs and ideas, we all love it that way, unconstrained by stiff standards.

Appreciate yours, no matter what...

If you ask the accountants, they'll tell you that it is natural to accumulate depreciation to some of your assets with the passage of time. In humans, this decline in tissues and organs is called aging. Now except you're differently endowed, with a J-lo or Viviane type of physique perhaps, or you constantly revalue and maintain your assets through regular workouts (which is a great thing), your once round behind that used to look mighty fine in those jeans will drop, your belly will get wrinkly, and your tits will become saggy, making it discouraging to flaunt a cleavage.

It shouldn't take an anatomist to know that, and nobody is saying that that new phase is not pleasing. In fact, if you ask me, and without judging me, I think the yummy-mummy, by that I mean an attractive middle-aged woman is like no other, because her state of being confident in herself is what's represented in her physical form.

However, refusing to accept a natural phenomenon like aging is like trying to defy the Creator's right of ownership, but that's not my business. What pisses me off is seeing grown women expressing envious feelings towards younger folks, for being in possession of attributes that they too once had. As if Olof Njie didn't tell them that "hew hewy ayuut" (there's no harm in being a once-was). Some grown women, mostly at workplaces, will try to make life miserable for younger ones just like that, accusing them of attempting to attract notice or admiration. The victims of such verbal onslaughts are mostly those drool inducing ladies that some CEOs cannot leave behind when they head off to meetings at their corporate board rooms.

Sometimes when I overhear those "she this" and "she that" remarks I am like: Dayum! Cut them some slack my friend. It's a known fact that there wouldn't be new school if it wasn't for the old school, so take that credit and know that it's not their fault that they keep stealing the show like you used to do. What happened to the saying: "Show 'em what mama gave you?" Should it now be repealed, recasted or re-coined to read: "but when mama's around, sit back and let her show 'em what she's left with." But that's gonna be really queer and kinky.

Sataybaa...

If every Gambian was as supportive and devoted to their community, and to its causes and ideas as the people of Brikama, AKA "Briks" or "Sataybaa," envious notice and resentful feelings would've been history in this country.

One thing I can confirm about Brikama is that even if there was supposed to be an international game on TV that's tending to attract everyone's attention, and a "Sataybaa" team is playing at home, Brikama Mini Stadium will not be disappointed. If an artist from "Briks" is doing his thing, like ST will be performing at the Open Mic Festival tonight, even those without private cars will charter Gele-geles to come and show him love.

Now that is what I call "supporting your own." You don't just say you're doing it, you, like NIKE will say: "just do it." Me, I am so glad that I once lived in Brikama.

Don't just love, be a lover...

When we are playing checkers and he's on a roll, he'll subconsciously say: "Maneh! Nobnala, nobumala, jarrut hullor.” lol

This makes me laugh, but he's right. There should be no compulsion in love, because it's a thing of the heart, or emotion if you like. However, your desire to stay in love with someone will not happen without the desire to comply with the accompanying obligations of loving that someone, including but not limited to regard for that person's wants.

Loving is the same as it is about religion: “There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion,” but then, once you accept, there are regulations that you must conform to, otherwise you cannot call yourself a true believer. I guess this is why most marriages of today don’t last beyond the breakfast after honeymoon, because we want to be loved, but don't want to be lovers.

Roye daha...

Once upon a time, my days as a junior auditor took me to a very remote village in CRR. I can't remember the name but it was many kilometres away from Bansang. Going back home, we happened upon a young woman in an apparent state of despair, carrying a sick kid. She was going to meet her husband to get the child to the hospital by cart, because heaven knows how often a means of transport like ours will come her way.

We had to take a diversion from our route home to offer them a ride. By looking, I could tell that the child had high fever. I calmed the young mother, talked to her about how not so serious the kid's condition was, helped reduce the amount of clothes on the child and offered some of my fluids to avoid dehydration, something I learned from my mom.

Imagine if that child grows up, and her mom pays through her nose to make sure he gets the education that she never got. Imagine this kid's schooling bringing him to an uncle in the city or Kombo, but in his bid to fit in, he chooses no better option than to become a member of a feared street gang. Tragic, right? Now this is the sad story of many a youth. They tend to forget their humble origins by copying until they copy the mistakes of those that they're copying. Olof Njie calls it "roye-daha."

Just saying!

If you can read and write, and you know the difference between lunching and launching, you know when to use the word couple and when to add an s to denote more than one, as in a married couple or otherwise couples associated romantically; if you know when to use an apostrophe plus an s where it is necessary to show ownership or association, and some Yale University-looking graduate of a lady that doesn’t have an ounce of intellectual curiosity, and cannot even string together a coherent sentence says you’re not her type, take pride my friend, rejoice! It could’ve been worse – and this piece is not about me.

Mind reading society...

In William Shakespeare's Macbeth (Act 1, Scene 4), King Duncan said: "there is no art to find the mind's construction in the face…" meaning: the mind of a man can never be understood by looking at his face. But I guess this is true everywhere except here that folks can tell what's hidden in your mind and heart just by what you say to them.

Before you can even say Alhaji Masanneh Manjang to the average Gambian, they'll conclude that you have a very clean heart (ndeysaan xolam bi dara neku fa), and just because you're skilled with words? But that's why our share of gullibility is at an absurd extent.

It is even shockingly easier when you come from foreign and want to be in their good books. Just tell them something that'll blow their minds, or just pretend a favourable disposition towards them, the honesty of your intention is of no primary importance. By the time they realise the fake you were, you would've been housed and fed for free, and if you're really lucky, you may impregnate three from the same neighbourhood.

Human (Disg)race!

Talk about evolutional U-turn. I don’t know if it is the Hutu or Tutsi tribe at fault, but it’s a shame that they are again ensuring that Burundi will stay the second poorest country in the world for I don’t know what time to come. It’s a shame that in the animal kingdom, the lion will spare fellow lions and prey other animals like the zebra, giraffe, pig, buffalo, antelope or wildebeest. The wolf will either go around in search of carrion or kill a deer, but disturbing much is to see human beings killing all other species including fellow human beings, and yet we believe we are the most intelligent beings on the planet? But I guess that was when humans had an exclusive ability to reason.

I don’t know if this occurs to anyone on here, but me, I sometimes sit and wonder why Eve ate that bloody apple, because since then, we have been creating to destroy. Sometimes it feels like our mission is to destroy everything in our path, from the very institutions we created because of need, to one dominant class giving hard time to the class that they were supposed to save from harm, or some nation that regards itself as the greatest in the world that it cannot leave other nations the hell alone spending awful cash on devices that will destroy thousands of lives in seconds. If you ask her, she’ll say she’s supporting her troops or defending her nation, but I guess against enemies that she asked for. 

 

I can be on here all day using my free social media franchise to bitch about the disgraceful state of the human (disg)race, but then "bitching" too will count as one of our failings; so I am out! God help decent civilisation!

When banking becomes a practical joke….

Today I am angry, and I think our local commercial banks should step up their banking game, but especially their customer relationship management, knowing that you cannot get future customers if your current customers are as disgruntled as I am right now.

Imagine sending early salary instructions because some of your staff are Christians and Christmas is almost here. From last Thursday to date, except for those staff banking with the host bank, none is posted. Now the purpose of paying early is defeated because your corporate payday is 20th, but you still called to find out, and you were asked to kindly send a soft copy of the instructions for ease of postings.

Even at that, some very proud teller is telling you that your email came in late - like bloody hell, when did it become policy that transfer instructions should be via email, and when did emails became more secure than SIGNED hard copies? Why should it be my problem that keying in details from the hard copy is demanding? If any bank is doing this to bring my colleagues and I into opening a salary account with you as our corporate account holder, forget it, because we are not going to be owned by an institution we pay to provide us a service.

But this is how unprofessional some of us become when we happen upon an unexpected blessing, like securing a job at the bank with just about a diploma in Banking and Finance from some unknown institute on Kairaba Avenue. We tend to quickly forget about our frustrating days of job hunting, and how we used to be as soft as the foreskin of an uncircumcised penis (excuse my French), acting as if we are doing every customer a favour.

AND you know what? If this piece of rant rubs you or a great many people the wrong way, I am sorry that I am not sorry.

Hopeful African

Sometimes when I see Afri-can'ts instead of Afri-cans headlining the news for all the wrong reasons, or weakening, undermining, and working against efforts of other honourable Africans, I can't but ask myself if my African existence is not indeed a geographical accident. But I guess that’s a natural concern for someone who believes that things could’ve been better.

On the bright side, with the evident expansion of the knowledge base of the African youth, and with present day diasporic inspiration, I am hopeful that someday, this continent that was once the cradle of civilisation will pull through, and will be greater than just a great place for safaris, art, music, ‘ashobi,’ clapping and dancing.

If this generation dreams again and don’t fall asleep at the switch, one day and very soon, those people that are seeing ours as being a place for diseases like Malaria, AIDS and Cancer will be outpaced. This is why even supposing I live to procreate three generations of me abroad, and even if they become hyphenated Africans, they’ll always cherish their honourable African descent.

"Aawo", be it or act like it...

Granted, the first wife they say is the queen of her home (Aawo buuru keuram), but in all honesty and reasonableness, part of being called 'Aawo buuru keuram' is to be it, or at least act like it, by continually stepping up your 'Aawo' game and stop tempting fate.

Take a look at the circumstances of this lady:  when she first met her man, she was as fine as the sunset in Hawaii; nice figure, fine eyes, chocolate colour, full lips and all. But soon as they got married and had just one kid, she gave up on life. Anytime the man comes home, sometimes with colleagues, she's seated under the mango tree dozing off or eating 'Njoganal' (evening meal), looking so shapeless on the mat like a 1971 MINI Cooper.

She wouldn't even reciprocate if the man asks how her day was. In his attempt to fix the relational U-turn, the man had invariably tried to take her out on corporate, anniversary and Valentine's Day dinners, but she thinks all those are youngish amusements, and she's not even 30. The scent she now produces is not unlike battered fish, and it doesn't matter if she was just coming from the kitchen or bathroom.

At night, she's a bundle of trouble wrapped up in bed, nagging about everything, including business calls that her busy husband receives. And because the man's only human, she left him with no choice but to go out and smoke his peace pipe. There he found emotional solace in this chick of so many agreeable qualities - and you know men, he's gotten himself a second wife - now folks think he's disloyal?

Decisions....

If the decision you're about to make is about taking or leaving something you love, folks will tell you to "follow your heart" and that's fine, but if you find yourself at a point at which a decision to make or break you must be made, like one that'll either afford or deny you the opportunity to change course or goal, be focused and use your head not your heart.

The difference between the two being: the heart is the seat on which your emotions sit, and the head contains the brain and all your main sense organs. The heart may change, miss a beat, bleed, melt, or be broken, but except you bury your head in the sand or have rocks in it, it is expected to be your most dependable tool in reaching a decisive decision.

Here, you aren't disturbed until you're so, so mad...

If you live in my part of the world, pray to your Lord that you stay mentally healthy, because I swear down, conditions like clinical depression, post-traumatic stress, bipolar, or seasonal affective disorders are so incomprehensible to our ordinary minds. Suffering from any of these will be the riskiest thing to happen to you.

Here, your every reaction is deliberate until it is so obvious that you're disturbed. In fact, our interpretation of your condition is in the following insensitive remarks:

DEFAA TEYE-TEYLU. (He's just putting up a deceptive show). DEFA HAMADI (He's just being rude). AFFERAM LA, BAYILEN KO MU HARROU (Let him commit suicide for all we care). SU SORNAY DINA BAYII DOF-DOFLU BI (He'll stop acting insane when he's tired) KI HAMUT BOORPAM (He's just so full of himself).

Before we know it, you're gone completely mentally deranged. But even at that, we wouldn't act until you start talking nonsense, eating crap and working about butt-naked, that's the time we'll realise that you really and truly need medical help. SMH

When you love her, show her...tell her!

Sometimes we pretend to no longer have interest in the things we care for, especially the desire for the women we love, probably because they said or did something that got us so worked up. Maybe it's only natural to get excited and say things that'll make them feel unwanted. But be warned, because the things you say and the decisions you'll make thereat have ramifications that could be held against you, and the truth is, good women are hard to come by these days.

It is not like I am speaking from personal experience, but I have seen things, a lot of things. So if you're lucky to have an amazing woman, don't take her for granted. Secure her love not with cash or material comfort, but with tenderness, care and affection. Protect and treat her like royalty, even if folks think you're unassertive. Know that women may fall for money, but they fall in love with character and charisma, and believe me, there are a hundred and one eligible men out there waiting for you to screw up, so that they'll pick her up and treat her in a way that you never did, and you'll be sorry.

I thought I should say that - Olof Njie neh faggandiku mor gen a faju.

What you become is a consequence of the decisions you made...mostly!

Listen! Sitting in despair and blaming imaginary haters and enemies for your condition, or pressuring other people with your problems, or visiting soothsayers and sorcerers in hopes of getting a solution will be the most useless and ignorant thing to get yourself into. The reason why I find these resorts useless is because I believe they're irrational approaches to fixing problems.

Me, whatever situation I find myself in, or however terrible I believe my state is, except for fated adversities, I believe it is but as a consequence of the decisions I made, the things I did or didn't do in the past, and perhaps the ideas I rejected because I didn't overstand them. So I believe it is up to me to change my situation, by changing my thoughts, procrastinating less and redirecting my energy and focus to being the me that it will take to become the me that I want to be.

Let me tell you this true story about me: Some years ago I missed two consecutive external examination registrations, and because the bank drafts I sent were (I suppose) lost in the post, so I eventually got my registration status voided. Back then, I was faced with two choices: to register again using a different mode of payment, or screw that overrated exam because I could make it in life without it anyways. So I went for option two.

A couple of months ago, there was this opening for me to take up a rewarding job, which I knew I could handle with my QBE (Qualification by Experience), but my candidacy was short-lived because that exam that I didn't pursue was supposed to afford me the only paper evidence I needed to show for what I can do. Now tell me, wouldn't I be acting stupid assuming I went all bonkers on the selection team? See, just what I thought, because the last I checked, the decision to drop that course was entirely mine, so I have no one to blame but myself. Now I hope the point I am trying to make is made.

Know the friends from the freeloaders...

If you want to save for a rainy day, it's best to seperate yourself from that friend that wants to be a friend but unwilling to pay a fair price of the friendship; that friend who thinks he's being wise by cunningly taking advantage of your good nature, or thinks he's being economical with his, by eating, drinking, wearing, smoking and screwing yours, one who'll use you more than you use yourself, or use your stuff including your ride without the decency of intent to replenish the fuel.

It's best to seperate yourself from that friend that'll all the time borrow from you, but will never pay back because his only gift is the gift of hoarding his and receiving yours; that friend that'll always be beside you for as long as it's gainful to him, but will disappear the moment you're in need of a favour from him; that friend that'll only remember to call you when he's in trouble, and will rather beep for you to call back even if it's his need in question.

I am not asking you to do what I say, or referring to anyone in particular. I am just saying what's on my mind. Now whether you're going to be left with any friend after putting this take of mine into practice is what I doubt, because ours has become a society of individuals whose true speciality is to cadge, sponge and take advantage of everyone, especially by repeatedly asking for help but never willing to make effort to help anyone.

Know your worth...

When the letter 'L' (el) in the word 'lover' is missing, what's left of the word, as in what's left in the relationship is 'over' (O.V.E.R). It's up to the trying party to get over the fact that the feeling wasn't mutual. I am guessing the 'L' stands for 'love.'

But don't despair, have faith in the fact that love's a game of two halves, that the one taking you for granted because you're head over heels in love could end up being the loser. Those who are unfaithful like that are at times of assumption that they'll always have you, no matter what they do to you. Don't allow it!

Your mind, your will...

As a person of your own, no one should hold claim to the makeup of your mind or to the extent of your will. It is your God-given right to think and act as you deem fit, but on condition that you aren't violating the law, the rights of other people, or encroaching on anyone.

However, you cannot claim entitlement to your thoughts and wishes unless you're willing to give others their right to theirs, and their right to agree or disagree with you. Note that sometimes your opinion being supported by popular opinion doesn't necessarily make it the best opinion.

Some people may allow you to call the shots or be compliant with your views and wishes, not because they agree with you, but because they know that pretending to share a particular view or opinion of yours will be gainful to them.

Humility...

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” - C. S. Lewis

 

I agree! "Thinking less of yourself" is like playing second-fiddle to everyone, and allowing yourself to be a doormat that you are not. You don’t have to be like that to be humble. Humbleness is about taming your ego, so that it wouldn’t be inflated to the point of you seeing everyone under your heel, or finding everything but yours to be so useless and pathetic. 

Humility is about accepting the fact that no matter how much you know, you’ll always be teachable, and refusing to believe in the delusion that you have all the answers. It’s about letting your achievements speak rather than flying your own kite about them. According to a research that I am yet to do, if you want to be free from pointless hate, from delusion and fear of what others will think, try and stay humble.

Tradition...

Wearing desert protective clothes or posing like an Arab doesn't make you a Muslim, just like wearing dreadlocks doesn’t make you a Rastafarian, and copying everything of Caucasian ethnicity doesn't make you a Christian. Even if what inspired your belief was rooted in the tradition of a certain class of people, you need to be able to tell between the religious part of their tradition and the disposable bit of it.

We need to overstand that with the exception of authentic religious standards, any other tradition, be it family, communal, ethnic or regional, doesn't have to be beyond alteration, criticism or interference. How it was transmitted in succession, as from our ancestors to us, or from their predecessors to them should occasionally be reviewed to adjust inadequacies and assess compliance with the progression of change, growth and development, otherwise we're but sightless successors.

About the launch of tradition, this is a story that a friend once told me. I can’t remember what he said word for word, but I’ll try rewording it to make my point: 

He said there was this Mandinka traveller that had a brief stay in a Fula community. During his stay, he observed that his host wakes his kids up every night saying: “Sofu waalloda.” He never bothered to ask what that meant, but given that Fula’s are mostly religious, he thought the phrase may have some spiritual significance. Upon his return home, he started doing it. He will wake his kids up, pat them on their backs and then pats his own back saying: “Sofu waalloda.” It became a kind of ritual in his family, but that was before it was brought to his attention that the expression was Fula, meaning “pee and go to bed.” 

Now can you imagine the sort of misguided tradition he was about to initiate if wasn’t corrected?

Love or owned?

You know your feeling of affection towards someone is deeper than ordinary if his or her presence causes you great merriment and laughter, even if the entire world thinks he or she is boring; if he or she causes you wonder and amazement; if nothing he or she does to you is off limits; if you always find his or her qualities uniquely wonderful; if you wouldn't dare ignore him or her, even when he or she offends you.

You know your feeling of care towards that person is deeper than ordinary when all of you is about what makes him or her happy, even if it is going to be at the expense of your own happiness; when he or she makes you feel like it is the two of you against the world. Normal people call it a feeling of love, even though you know your behaviour is sometimes without reason. Me, I think you're being owned, but that's probably because I am not so normal...

You're flawed - fix it!

You know there's a flaw in your character if your name is invariably a common denominator in every fight, every bickering, every 'tessanteh,' and every incident or event that seeks to disgrace or damage the reputation or image of the people around you. But you can fix it by making it your business to mind your business.

Don't tell me it's coincidental that you're always involved, because the frequency is too much to be just a coincidence - and you know you're becoming a demon if despite these excesses of yours, you still have the effrontery to pretend that people don't like you, or they snoop or meddle too much in your business.

If you ask me, do yourself and the people around you a favour by changing your ways, and see if people won't change their views about you.

Couldn't I be right?

Call it some weed induced theory, I don't mind it being just a theory, but if my sixth sense is still trustworthy, I think I am beginning to figure out how all these terrorist and counter terrorist nonsense started. I think many years ago, some powerful western politicians did very terrible things to humanity in the name national security.

I think to cover up their act, they misinformed, misled and used some foreign radical religious group against a certain powerful covert nemesis. After using this group of honourable people to divert their attention and energy to what they thought was a good cause, they betrayed them, framed them, and blamed their belief for what they caused them to do.

In retaliation, that militant group went out of control, doing whatever they thought was the best way to get even. From then on, the world became a cluster-fuck of confusion, of institutions that are but bundles and bundles of dirty secrets, blackmail, extortion, deceit, insecurity, manipulative rhetoric, espionage, henchmen, etc. Is like everyone's finding skeletons on everyone, and enemies becoming friends for common agendas.

Now let me use a lil story as basis for my theory: Once upon a time, two siblings were committing incest in their mom's room, and they got busted by the maid. Instead of reporting the duo, the maid decided she'll use it against them, and to afford her carte blanche for her dubious acts at home. The kids got pissed one day, so they conspired with the gardener to incriminate the maid, thinking they'll be even, but unfortunately the gardener was also not so clean a person after all.

To cut a long story short, the house's dirt dishing unveiled that saint mom was also having an affair with the driver, because she was told that dad was screwing the secretary at work. So "the enemy of my enemy is my friend," that's what this household turned into. Each time any two parties in the house work together, don't ask, it is because they want to go against a common enemy for trying to spill their beans.

My point is that this imaginary truth has become the sad state of the world today. But even more unfortunate is that the powerful media entities that we rely on are being controlled and used to make the good ones look bad and the bad ones good, so those dark, shameful secrets that need to remain secret for the wicked to triumph will remain secret, and decent civilisation will not know beyond hypothetical speculations like this one, and that's sad.

Special award...

If I had the means, I'll create an award similar to the Nobel Peace Prize, but this one will be dedicated to those who seem to dislike everything they can't score credit for, and for those who wouldn't accept unpleasant facts about themselves.

After that, I'll nominate us (the average Gambian on here) as first awardees. I know it may sound like I am forming a general concept from perhaps a few random instances I see on here, but you don't need to take offence if you're bearing no responsibility for what I am saying.

Now for specifics, the award will not only be in recognition of us wanting to be everything we are not, or for having an attitude of distaste for everything we truly are, but also for refusing to recognise the fact that we are all blessed in different ways, and for making that attitude of denial the best thing that has ever been ours.

This is how we eradicate poverty:

Our efforts to curtail the risk of bitterness and resentful desire won't quite succeed if sophistication is monopolised, and if a certain class of people are visibly enjoying a high standard of living at the expense of those living in extreme poverty. We should overstand that our individual social responsibility is not to find a way to escape poverty, but to find a way of fighting it. 

If you ask me, October 17 (International Day for the Eradication of Poverty) is a cute thing, but it cannot eradicate poverty without the will to fight poverty. The colourful slogans we chant and wear in observance of the day are but fleeting illusions if the rich is not willing to share, and if we aren't willing to provide the poor with means, and provision must be for the sake of Allah (fi sabilillah).

Good people...

On the force of their regard for others, good people may do things that may eventually ruin their own chances of getting the things they wanted for themselves - and we worry about them. We worry because to us, no normal person is expected to bruise much less crush a goal because of the interest of others.

Be that as it may, there's always a reason, and the reason generally is that good people cannot allow their dreams to get in the way of their conscience, because they won't be able to forgive themselves ever again, and that's a more hurtful thing to live with than trying to benefit humanity at some cost yourself.

Islam doesn't need fixing...

When regular institutions are going through unfavourable publicity, they employ damage control strategies to curtail losses, and to counteract the negative image being generated. Islam doesn't need that, because it is not an ordinary institution, and it is neither damaged nor about to be damaged.

I repeat - Islam doesn't need Olivia Pope and her team of "fixers" to fix it. It is a way of life that surpasses excellence, and I don't care who calls that a lie. Muslims are trying to be representative of that way of life. So if we fail at acting like it, it's our flaw not Islam's. Personally, I'll never apologise for being a Muslim, and certainly not going to be a part of any pity party, simply because a few nutcases are intolerantly devoted to some stupid opinion or prejudice about my belief, or possibly fearful of what my belief can become.

If there's anything to fix, it is our humaneness we need to fix, because we've lost grip. This is why many times I could come on here, name extremists of other faiths who have committed atrocities worse than what's allegedly committed by all alleged Islamic extremist group combined; I could use their excesses to hate on innocent individuals of other faiths, but I won't because Islam teaches me to know better. If some retard cannot find his temper, that's that retard's problem because I am not going to lose mine.

She's an ambitious slut, so what?

One young lady said to the other about another: "She'll sleep with anything with a pulse, as long as she believes it'll help her to climb the social ladder?"

This is no uncommon remark towards young upwardly mobile ladies with affluent lifestyles, and it got me thinking; what if they presumably sleep with a dozen men? Is that proof enough that they're playing the "ambitious slut"? What if they're the "hot" type; the type that only my type can control their hormones around? Should you blame it on them alone, because I know tango isn't a solo dance?

I am thinking, maybe rather than talking about someone else’s personal life, we should check first if ours is half as clean as we think it is - and if you're a lady bitching out of sheer envy, I'll suggest you do a lil touch up, fix your numerous defects, and maybe, just maybe you'll be lucky to have one 'mbaran' (fling) to call your own.

My job's not to protect Islam...

I am not going to be here fighting to protect Islam - that's not my job. Islam is God's and God is the Master Protector. Mine is a personal spiritual struggle for self-improvement and against evil, temptation and people like Donald John Trump. My job is to be a better adherent, a good Muslim who'll serve as an example, and whose behaviour will be emulated by uninformed islamophobes.

But maybe Trump doesn't actually fear or hate Islam and Muslims, maybe his hate speeches are his only remaining (unwanted) option towards a favourable political climate and capital. Maybe he believes the world hates Muslims, but he is wrong, because people like him cause truth seekers like ours to see the light of Islam, and that explains why Islam is the fastest growing religion right now.

How you respect is your choice...

"He won't hear the beat of his own drum when Omar is drumming, because he's like a slave to him. When Bintou sneezes, bitch will catch a cold, because she owns her. She worships her like she's God. He respects him more than he respects his own father..."

These are the type of unfounded remarks you hear when you're obedient of someone, or of a relatively rich friend, and it doesn't matter if the respect you're showing is mutual. It's as if it's wrong to have a mutually supportive or cooperative relationship.

But this is why some of us will be bred and dead in poverty, because our bloody sins will find us out - sins for not accepting the fact that humans aren't equally endowed, and so we must always depend upon one another for support.

Work.....

If you employ someone, afford him a rewarding pay, pay him before his sweat dries out, you give him confidence to do his work, recognise him as having value to what you do, engage and trust him like he belongs, promote and give him all the raise he deserves, and he screws up or refuses to deliver, fire his arse.

But if you think unwavering loyalty to you or your predatory job is going to be given to you like that, even if unearned, go ahead and do none of the above for your employee and see if he's gonna stay true.

About the liar....

Sometimes we all want to have a liar or two to our side, because the information they bring may be used for leverage, but there's a catch. Once you know someone's a "carry go, bring come" and you still keep him, be afraid, because the lies that he uses to stay close to you are the same lies that he's going to use to gain the trust of your highest bidding nemesis, and to betray all your secrets from within.

Before you know it, you're so screwed, and you'll be in there feeling so down about how naive you were and the good people you've lost. You'll eventually never want to trust anyone completely again, and that too has a downside because it means you wouldn't be brave again to act on even those suggestions that you feel are right.

You'll start to believe in the belief that all human actions are based on selfish motivations, and whilst you're processing that, you could say amen to your Imam and wouldn't mean it. In the mean time, the liar is going about displaying no shame about lying to you even when exposed, because he's a liar.

Naozubillah!

It is cool to be decorous...

When I was a kid, I had a great upbringing. But perhaps motivated by where I grew up, all what I thought I needed to act strong, tough and resilient was to be part of a gang of seemingly feared, discourteous, crime-loving and party-crashing kids.

As I grew up, I realised I was living a lie. I realised we were being avoided by decent people and not necessarily feared. So I started to be gentle at parties and towards girls, now I even leave tips for waiters. As I started making peace with those that I had offended, I came to realise that it is even more cool to be decorous.

This is why when I see kids taking that same path, thinking they're cool like that, and knowing how slim their chance of surviving that kind of life is, I feel like doing an open admittance on here, of having been there and done exactly what they're doing, but do they pay attention...that's what I doubt.

Some people are just meant to stand out...

In every team, club, squad, crew, hangout, or whatever group it is, everyone has a role, that's obvious. But there's always a live wire in every group, someone who gets things going, and when such people aren't around, their absence is felt, because they have this selfless ability to make things more lively, cheerful and interesting for everyone around them.

Sometimes their name is the group's identifier. For example: Omz's boys, Jai's girls, Paco's crew, etc. Like where I live, when I want to introduce myself to those who do not know me, I tell them I am Oldpa's brother, because they know him. Now if that makes me feel unnoticed, I should probably kick myself in the teeth, because it's not his fault that his name stands out.

Marriage is what you make it...

Once upon a time, separation and dissolution of marriages used to be as a result of unfaithfulness or lost of chemistry. But that was before the demise of selfless civilisation. Now unfortunately, behind every fucked up marriage is a meddling in-law, a maliciously grudging friend, a prying neighbour, a backstabbing affinal relative, or a community that thinks everyone must march to the beat of their drum.

The sooner couples realise this, the more willingly they'll put on their thinking caps, concentrate on making their unions better and stop judging each other by whatever tale the devil has to tell. Don't let your lasting decisions be based on momentary anger. Look deeper at that feeling of affection that prompted your vow, because once it was, it'll always be, and that's what's more important.

Three things:

1 - Your business is to mind your own business and let others mind their businesses. Meaning - learn to accept other people as they are, although they may have a different way of life and of doing things. But if someone else's business has a collateral effect on your own business, let that business be your business.

2 - Your job is to do your job and let others do their job, especially if their job has nothing to do with yours. However, if their output is going to be an input in what you do, tell them to put their act together, that's unlike meddling, you just wouldn't want to take garbage for an input.

3 - It is better to avoid problems in the first place, than trying to fix them after causing them to happen, just as it is better not to trouble trouble until trouble troubles you. But if trouble is eventually going to trouble you and you know it, be trouble to trouble when trouble is still small, before it can grow into something serious.

Hello Mars! Here I come...

Reading news on here makes it feel like the world is running out of people who seem to care about making a difference. And as messed up as it is, it's our doing. I woke up this morning and wanted to join the "Jummah Mubarak" (blessed Friday) trend, but then I was like, how blessed can the world be if we as constituents are not ready to change the way we live, let alone the way we treat each other? How can we make a difference if we cannot for once see beyond selfish interests?

That's why people today will rather talk with/to androids and iOSs than to another man, and I don't blame them because no one cares anymore. We are so consumed by our egos that the only thing we are really capable of doing is offending, upsetting and hurting one another. Each man believes in himself to be better and more important than everyone. You don't even know who is your friend and who is cultivating a relationship in order to attain a personal gain.

So whilst we are waiting for divine intervention, or perhaps another "big bang" to come and fix this mess, I have given it a thought, and I have decided to move on, and let no one try to talk me out of it. I am joining the next available spacecraft to Mars. I have spoken to NASA astronaut Mark Watney, and I told him I am going to be a Martian and that is. I was told I don't have to be of extraterrestrial origin to fit in.

Loosen up, and be creative…

“Ideas don't happen in the boardroom, they happen in corridors” - Steve Jobs. My sister just sent me this quote because she knows it echoes my take that innovation and creativity cannot be brainstormed by sitting at some round table feeling so tense, and having everyone asserting weight that they don’t have. The truth is, you cannot be creative without casting off your inhibitions, and you cannot loosen up like that if your thoughts are fettered by stiff protocols.

Even world changing decisions are informally made. I am sure if you ask Ban-Ki Moon, he’ll tell you that in practice, United Nations Resolutions are issued and adopted by the United Nations Security Council or the United Nations General Assembly, but believe me, that’s just the impression, because I know the powerful ones must have already swayed the opinion of the members that count over coffee tables, where they’ll be free from strain. My distant cousin Barack Obama will talk you to his side while having free throws with you on the basketball court

Unfortunately, some of us think our ideas won’t matter if we aren’t dressed in suits and Tuxedos like penguins, sitting at some conference table and talking with style. But how can you come up with something imaginative if you don’t even have the courage to look different. The thing is like a formal party and the after party; you tend to be more open and have more fun at the latter because it is open, natural and livelier - and this is why if truth be told, the streets do it better.

Follow your own quiet peaceful lead....

When I was 15, something happened; it was a wake-up call to the fact that being a part of the majority doesn’t mean I was doing it right, and just because the majority was doing it doesn't mean it was right. I realised that majority can be wise as well as foolish, and I needed no foolish majority around me to validate my existence.

If you want to spend your time doing something you really enjoy, and if you don't want to be pressured into doing what society wants you to do, you need to learn to follow your own quiet peaceful lead, and let the loudmouths drool after the spotlight.

Some of them will call you names like "oddball" or "weirdo," but that's before they secretly start to copy you in every single way possible; wanting to do or have everything exactly the same as yours, because their ability to act first or on their own is zero.

Just keep trying...

They say if at first you don't succeed, try again, and probably again, and again. It may sound exhausting, especially if you've tried a hundred times. But what if a hundred times isn't good enough? What if it should've taken a hundred and one attempts?

Okay, screw that, I was just trying to sound artful, but what I am trying to say is that when you fail at what you really want, and not necessarily what society wants for you, try until you get it right. I was told that failure or losing out to someone is not all bad. They say it's often a stepping stone towards success. 

Having screwed up at least twenty-ten second chance and counting, I know I may not be the most credible authority to say this, but one thing I know is that my screw ups are far better than sitting like an apartment and waiting for life to happen.

Stop being a miserabilist.

Hold on! What if those people that you want to be like, because you think they're flawless are really not? In fact, no one really is. Some are perhaps just great at hiding their flaws and worries, and that's sometimes a good thing, knowing that it's always possible to get something positive out of even what may seem to be a problem, and no matter how unpleasant, difficult or painful it might seem.

In my opinion, everyone's just a regular person - we all pick our noses anyways. The outward appearances taking possession of your mind are sometimes indispensable requirements. So just because X's cosmetic comportment, relationship or job seems perfect doesn't mean you should give too low a rate to what you have.

Maybe you'll realise how awesome you and yours is if you stop being a bloody miserabilist. But if the word "miserabilist" hurts, I should probably say step up your game and stop being a fussbudget.

Just WORD!!!

TWO THINGS: you wouldn't probably know if telling the truth is always the right thing to do until your lies come to light - and trust me, truth will always out, so being economical with it may not be a great idea, especially to those who deserve to know. They're eventually gonna find out, and the consequences may not be so cool.

ANOTHER THING IS: you wouldn't probably know if being real and honest is truly the right thing to do until you get caught in the act of doing something you said you had nothing to do with. So try to stay out of the trouble of getting involved in any sort of fraudulent or otherwise dishonest act.

PERSONALLY, there's never a day that I didn't ask God to keep the things I do in the night from seeing the light, but I figured the answer to that prayer lies in my own hands. I figured I probably should make the things I do in the dark compatible if not totally consistent with how I want to be seen. So help me God!

Dreams come true, but gone wild...

Your dream has come true. Gone are your feelings of despair and dejection. You're now in the public eye and loving every bit of the new life, the new class, the hype, the stalkers and admirers. You even do stuff to draw attention to yourself, and because you love to hear the sound of your own voice. Only a few people tell you the truth because you're well heeled. You're made to believe you're invincible.

You ditch your old friends because you think they're raw, but that's mostly because they've chosen to keep it 100. You burned all your bridges and allowed toadies to build thicket fences around you. Your ego got so inflated that you couldn't notice how such walls are giving them access to live on your efforts without giving anything back. In fact, those walls aren't only making it impossible to be reached, but also difficult to go back to where you came from; where it all started.

Your definition of having fun got twisted to mean engaging in futile activities while serious issues around you are getting worse, or acting without regard for anything, not even the well-being of others around you. BUT does it really make any sense? What if everything grinds to a halt?

My ride, my rules...

For the record, if I find a guy and a lady stranded somewhere, desperately looking for a cab or ride home, and I have room for only one, don't ask! It's the lady I'll pick, because 'adiyata ntelleyeh!'

Especially if this dude happens to be like the majority of guys that'll see your ride breakdown by the side of the road, and won't only stop at not helping, but wish your mechanic won't show up.

Call it preferential bias or whatever you like, I don't give a rat's behind. In fact, I am so bloody tired of that overused nonsense of a criticism. It's called: 'my ride, my rules, my preference.

Manners.....

Pointing out another person's flaws, like saying: "X's essay is so wack" - doesn't mean you can do it better than X. You're just keeping it real, and that's okay.

But in the same spirit, make sure when it's X's time to keep it real, you're fine with taking the taste of your own medicine.

And one more thing: reasonable adults don't create humour for the purpose of getting on the nerves of other adults. That kind of attitude is so, SO high school.

Act right...

You cannot expect to play the devil and don't wake up in hell. It doesn't take a mullah or mufti to know that. But that's why it is often better to not act at all, than to put up an act that'll eventually injure the dignity and respect that you were trying to earn.

About promises...

The rule is, "never make a promise you cannot keep." But even so, sometimes shit goes down and you just cannot control what happens next. I am sure every reasonable human being will overstand that. Besides, a promise they say is comfort to fools.

So just because you couldn't meet a promise, or because you broke a few of them doesn't mean you're bad. You just might want to put a brake on giving promises so quickly. I mean, you may want to try saying it only when you mean it...you know, let your actions do the talking.

If you truly want to help but fail the individual because of an oversight, remember that an unfulfilled promise shouldn't be a reason for you to avoid your promisee. Sometimes all what the person needs is closure.