When you're wrong....

When you 'eff up, like I do all the time, admit, knowing that you will be a psychopath to expect someone else to be whipped for your wrongs in the stead.

If you're in the habit of admitting to being wrong, even when you're right and you know you're right, but just because someone else can't face the fact that you're right, STOP IT. Separate yourself from that Uriah Heep type of behaviour.

Fine is fine...

Fitness motivators, particularly those who encourage squats and deadlifts say:

"with great buttucks comes great responsibility." 

I don't know about that, but what I do know is: a girl with a fine physique can conquer the world. If she can ignore the hate to take control of her destiny that is. Nicki Minaj is living proof of this opinion.

Learn to let go....

In this day and age, the realest thing to know, and definitely worth being cognizant of is that you'll in an undeserved manner fall victim to a whole lot of trash, betrayals and lies so bizarre and from folks so close that you wouldn't even understand.

But no matter what, and for one thing, LIFE GOES ON. So if a thing is hurting you, weighing you down or wasting your time, let it go and move on like you can't afford to be left behind. It may not be as easy as I'm putting it; I know that, but the best decisions in life are disquietening at their first.

Photo Credit: @Tyrese

Just saying...

If the woman of your dream is every man's ideal woman, and you're lucky to have her, don't just get used to her and forget that she's still the woman that every man wants.

You must constantly step up your game, if you're going to keep her from being an object of rivalry. Now you may use recasts to suggest the same for a man of every woman's wish.

Indiscretion...

If you make your decision based on rumour going round, or ditch someone on account of what was said to have been said or heard by some person about that person, without considering the risks and consequences, or even questioning the accuracy of the claim, you will someday look back with blame directed at none other than yourself, as by your conscience, wishing that you had acted differently.

But the saddest part of it all is that the ability to rouse your emotions from bad guidance like that, and to initiate or resume that cordial relationship you once had with people will come but usually too late, and sometimes you cannot predict the reaction of the injured. So, best thing is: never make a decision without much thinking about it, especially decisions motivated by what the devil's cousin of an okra-mouth said; it will more than likely be greatly exaggerated.

Street passion...

Growing up, my dream job used to be one that will afford me the opportunity to dress like this to work; it still is.

I never admired necktie men; I thought it was the Rastaman in me, but I still don't.

I used to see the high-level ones as either greedy or miserly, and the rank and file as overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated stooges; I still do.

I never trusted their strategies, or as one worthy to be followed, no matter how cute; I still don't. But that's just me and my beliefs.

Mind what you collect...

When someone who cannot be counted on for anything throws away a thing, and you pick that thing up, it wouldn't benefit you in any way.

Pay attention to what you collect and from whom you collect; you don't want to end up with an undeserved liability, it will only piss you off.

Fear can do exactly what loyalty does...

In Fast 7, Ramsey (the hot hacker) said: "Life is binary; zero and ones. Only two things keep a group like this together; fear or loyalty....." She was referring to the 'Fast and Furious' team.

In other words, someone who's deterred by fear of what he stands to lose if he does otherwise will naturally do exactly what loyalty does; whether unconditional is what I doubt. So, not every enduring cooperation, every fan base (offline or online), or affection towards you and yours is genuinely loving.

Not deceitful, it's "the-seat-full"

More than half the time, your privation, loss, or want of certain things is not on account of reluctance or lack of generosity on the side of the person with some sort of responsibility for you.

Usually, it's those self-appointed opinion offerers close at hand to him who deprive you; those dangerous twifaced, barefaced-self-seeking-servile-liars and fawning parasites.... Phew!

Proverbs 12:5 says: "the plans of the righteous are just, but the advice of the wicked is deceitful." Anyway, it's not like their deceit will divert what God prefers for you, I am just saying, in case you want to blame the innocent for your loss.

Beware!

You know you've a big problem in hand if you happen to be a supervisor, a boss, or an executive and you're fated with a "liarholic" of a subordinate, one suffering from "liarrhea" perhaps, as in constant urge to lie. The person will lie not necessarily for any personal gain, but because (s)he has a broken relationship with the truth.

To this person, devising elaborate lies against everyone and about everything feels right and enlivening. But if you think it's a good thing that (s)he rats on and about everyone else’s business but his or hers, and because you're getting informed, rest assured that whatever (s)he knows about yourself is already an open secret somewhere. And God help you if such an individual causes you to cease to be on friendly terms with good people.

Let's find the root cause....

Headllines like these make me sick. Maybe it's about bloody time we distinguish between the radical, the extremist, or the fundamental, and the true author of what's today being dubbed radicalism, extremism, or fundamentalism. Let's be fair enough to distinguish between the cause and the effects of the sad situations of this world.

How can a certain tight-knit circle of empathy-deficient individuals with no creed, and no morals shove their rules on the world the way they want it and not expect violence in response? Someone said: "there's nothing more dangerous than a true believer on his own crazy mission," and I'll say even more dangerous when provoked and scornfully touted.

The honest will always be honest...

Once upon a time, when I was in Brikama - Kabafita school to be precise, I found a purse full of cash, took 5 from it to buy "neni ngunja." Mom found out, recovered the rest, figured out that the pay mistress was at the school earlier, so it must be salary paid to one of the teachers, and in fact it was my own teacher's; the money was returned.

This evening, while getting out of the taxi that I hired to pick my car from the mechanic, I dropped my wallet, with cash enough to pay for a brake (master) cylinder, filters and workmanship. As I was taking tally of my impending spending, I realised that my wallet was gone. Naturally, the raggedy looking guy is the usual suspect, and because I knew I couldn't have lost it anywhere far.

So I called a cob friend to ask if it was okay to search the guy myself; his phone was off. Before I could lijanteh another number, I saw this veiled middle-aged woman coming towards me. "Are you Omar?" I knew she found my wallet, because in it was a card bearing my name, but in what state she found it was what I was about to find out. She said: "my kid found this wallet, gave a 100 to his friend and brought the rest for safe keeping. When I asked he said he found it here, and it's a good thing that you're here." She gave me back my wallet and wanted to go just like that. I had to beg that she takes my gift as a token of gratitude and admiration.

Two things: whatever you do, good or bad, and no matter how long it takes, it will be done back to you, and like seriously, I sometimes lose confidence and hope in the honesty of humankind, but it's always a wonderful feeling to realise that whilst there are some who will not hesitate to get their hands in your pocket, there are those who embody the fact that no matter what, honest people will always exist in this world. I just pray so we may know and celebrate them.

Lying as a social skill...

According to some psychologists, lying is a necessary social skill, especially in the maintenance of a good relation. I have seen folks who have always been in practice of the craft in the name of protecting their partners' hearts, and we mistake their success at it for charm.

But, I must add that such lies should be reasonable and consistent, not one that will eat away your ability to tell the truth. Never be renowned for being a lying bag of shit, it will cause folks to cease to believe in you, even if you're telling the truth, and you know how awkward that can be.

Curb the needless jealousy...

You cannot stop your woman from being needlessly jealous, or live with her happily ever after, if you cannot be as nice, or as considerate and as compassionate to her as you're to other women. So, if she's constantly at it, see if you aren't in fact putting an incorrect address on your amorous attentions.

Know that from when she said "yes," it became your duty to make her feel safe and comfortable, and to make her believe that you're lucky to have found her.

My friend, if you want to inspire single folks like myself, make your bond attractive and stop being a lion at home, and a lamb outside, for it makes no sense flirting with someone else's woman like you don't have one already, or like you were forced into the union. AND, never mind, let me go and watch "wiri wiri;" that Zozo guy inspires me.

Obama, the Baraka "Blessing"

I think I have become not only a fan, but a self-appointed praise singer. LOL! But really, he who does the admirable will naturally be admired. See how ma'am Winfrey's clutching Obama's hand, the look; a show of wonder mingled with approbation that with all the inequality, segregation, discrimination, deprivation, and the conspiracy to reduce the minority to lowliness and submission, this black man from a multicultural upbringing has risen amongst us, requiring no other proof, argument or explanation of the fact that all men are created equal.

Here's "Hope" embodied. A man who refused to be limited by his given identity, elected President of the United States, changed not only the complexion of the White House but to a great extent the direction, evidenced by his many "heroic firsts." He broke records, tried the untried, rewrote history, and ruled like I wish he could be given another four years. He's created leadership initiatives across the globe, raised expectations, refuted the prejudice that black folks are anti-education and anti-achievement, and continually ensuring that he's not just "The One," but one of many who are as good, who just need the chance to take a shot. Here's greatness!

Know who's there for what...

Not all who habitually come to you during your difficult moment are there to give comfort. There are those that the Jamaicans call: 'the carry go, bring come.' So, turn your pains into wisdom and know the type and extent of information to vonunteer.

Remember the Wolof proverb: "jappal ma ehnni la, du sawar la ehnni rek, laygo layg bugga xam li nga ehnu la." (Not all who offer to help you with what you're carrying on your head are genuine helpers, some are only motivated to see what you are carrying).

Street professionals...

Ask the pseudo-intellectual what he thinks about street folks, and four allegations will manifest: unstable, uneducated, unwilling to work, and dishonest. You know, like a losing genre? But tell you this: I see more business minded folks in the streets than in corporate circles. In fact, half the upper middle class got no initiative. Their enterprises are at the mercy of money provided as funds. But even at that, they can't advance without a consultant, for inspiration on how to write a business plan, and a couple weeks training on entrepreneurship. Still good, but that formality makes me laugh.

Give the street nigga a used gadget and tell him how much you want for it. Two days he brings your cash and keeps his commission, but that is if he doesn't pimp out that gadget to get two more for it; that's how ingenious he is. Two, three commissions is enough to start his own thing. Seen a nigga sell phone chargers for a living, today he's the proud owner of "xxx mobiles." That's what's up! The street professionals that I know don't stay employed, not because they're arrogant, but because they're creators, and excuse the brag but a salary can't afford a creator's lifestyle.

Formal education? Go tell that to your everyday working-class; I mean those around with D150 pair of "full shoes." Haven't you seen Spud Webb dunk over 7 footers? Isn't Tupac Shakur's life and works being studied by Uni students of history and poetry? The other day, I was reading a business journal and I saw educated professionals grumbling about their uneducated employers. I was like: wow, shouldn't it be the reverse? Funny much! Now I feel I gotta turn these lines into rap lyrics - hehe!

Compassion begets compassion...

If you can, do it; it constitutes moral excellence. But I wouldn't blame anyone for not feeling for, or being indifferent to the plight of someone whose condition is an evident consequence of ill will, of decisions motivated by selfishness, of ego-serving choices, favour-seeking actions, or unwillingness rather than inability to do what's right.

Really, after been afforded the opportunity to learn from the bad guidance of those who break others to make themselves, and having been afforded the chance to do what's right, if you still choose to abuse your conscience like that, until fate twists, any show of pity that comes your way will definitely be a fluke, for you can't reap compassion when callousness was what you sowed.

Time to make a change...

Proceeding with the decision to stop at high school, and to try to become an autoditact of wide recognition someday, sometimes scares the hope out of me, especially when I see some of my peers on here in graduation gowns. I don't tell but I ask myself: am I being misguided? Should I go back to school while I can, and kick ass like I know I can? But maybe the best decisions in life are always scary.

Anyway, today a new decision is made, and thank you Uncle Ousman! This man had always made me the richest kid in spirit and support and I am grateful. Growing up, I did things; crazy things; things that I am not proud of. But anytime he's in town and we speak, he always has this profound influence on me; always been a source of inspiration and admiration. Well, I am one mytery of a guy and I know that, but I hope this time, I will make him proud. So help me God.

Tariqah, my observations...

I don't know much about Tariqah (order of Sufism), or its spiritual teachings and practices geared towards seeking Haqiqah (ultimate truth). As a matter of fact, I don't even know which specific path or Islamic denomination I subscribe to. I just follow what makes sense to me.

But one thing I can testify about those who follow the path is their love for brotherhood. Whenever one is in need, from Medina to Kaduna, Touba to Harlem, and you're introduced as a Talib (seeker), rest assured that you'll be treated as family, and that's something worthy of respect and emulation.

Try to maintain one face... two sucks!

In any social group, and especially a place of work, decency demands that you do what's right, and say what's gotta be said without being contemptuous of course, or forever hold your peace. But if you want to be blinded by your desire for favours and say what's appealing to the ear regardless, the call is yours.

Rest assured that when the truth that you massaged comes out, like it always does, and you're found responsible for giving an insincere impression, the one you were trying to mislead is gonna get so, so mad, and you'll be so, so sorry. Bruce Bickelt said "it is better to be divided by truth than united in error."

Withholding won't make you rich...

Being frugal or exercising prudence in spending is a great thing, but truth is, you don't get rich by unwilling to spend; you'll only be accruing your needs and the expenses thereof. In other words, you don't get rich by withholding yours and living off someone else's. Ali Ibn Abi Talib was reported to have said: “Be like the flower that gives its fragrance to even the hand that crushes it.” Our beautiful faith teaches that the only time you should withhold is when it's for necessary living, for the hand that gives is better than the hand that takes.

Mom used to say if wealth is about to come your way, it will appear as if the entire universe is conspiring to make you rich. You will be given contracts, co-opted into paying committees, be invited to sit at tables without you lobbying. Money will come left, right and centre. This is why you see celebrities spending as if they're not saving, and making more from endorsements than their career signings, or a certain CEO sitting in 10 extras boards other than his. Me? I have this philosophy that if wealth was the ultimate result of saving, your grandma that had a kondanneh (piggy bank sort of) from when you were six would've been rich by now. But how many times did she not call you to help break it open because of an emergency?

Business in the midst of poor folks...

Did you ever try making a couple mill doing business with one-thousandaires? I did; so despairing. In fact, I figured even if I should steal a grand from nine hundred and ninety nine of 'em, I'll still need to rob one more to get a mill.

So it's not only the demand that matters, it's the material possession of the market around you; the ability to buy what you're selling. The hyena when asked who's the most ungenerous pointed to a poor guy and said "he is." When asked why, he said: "beg him and see." But that's just an allegory.

Motivation...

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Yoga pants are hot.
If not on a diaper butt.

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
If you must fall victim,
because it's in fashion,
pay attention to being differently fashioned.

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Dead lifts and squats can be a pain.
Double the sore, you'll double the gain.

But if you ask me, with all of today's dress options to choose from, why not choose that which works best for your shape and bring out your personality. It's not a must to dress in a way that will make you feel uncomfortable or look sloppy and saggy; that's oppressive.

Colleagues, not necessarily friends...

Work colleagues can be friends, but it's not a sure thing. In fact, if you're looking for someone with the courage to stand up for you, cross out a colleague who's painfully desirous of an advancement in position, and God help you if you're the holder of that target position.

Most of them will trade their honour, their use, and compassion for it, and will cunningly expose you to loss and pretend to be helping you to grieve over it. But from when you're observant, you'll realise that whatever opinion they give is bound for their own interest... reason why it never ends well with them.

So, I phoned in...

These two AfriRadio presenters wanted to know the difference between an artist(e) and a musician. The number to call was 1076. One called, and after establishing the referents of the terms said we unfortunately don't have any round here.

I usually just listen to radio and mind my business, but I believe that was a very courageous mistake. So for the first and probably the last time ever, I phoned in, and this was my take:

Artist is one who creates art as an occupation or hobby, and any form of art for that matter. The musician is one who is into the art of music - from composer, to the one who sings and those who play the instruments. Artiste with an "e" is a public performer, especially of a song or dance.

So you can deny our dexterity, and even our qualification to perform all you want, but you cannot say we don't have any. I am using the adjective "our" because I am an artist, skilled at absolutely nothing.

Progress is a slow process...

The process of progress takes time, but each step draws you closer. If you think nothing in your life is advancing, throwback to your photos of a decade or so; reflect on those days when your top life ambition was to own a khaftanni jahkar, Windbreaker, a pair of hightop Nike sneakers, and a FUBU cap.

Once upon a time; in fact, not so long ago, this young lady wears just anything to inter-house games, be it kaba, a robe or dagit. Today, she cries over what shoes to choose for Gee's concert/comback; you see how things change? It's just unfortunate that a lot of us have bad memories.

Lessons from wiri wiri...

I didn't watch it, but the noticeable jubilance after tonight's episode of "wiri wiri" is proof that treachery, backstabbing and underhandedness are the most loathed vices of our time, but Ironically the most widely perpetrated. Isn't it so sad and baffling that people love the good and still hold onto the bad?

Stagnant community...

When every member of a community is busy looking into some other member of the community's something, either out of envious notice or desire of something possessed by the other, or just for the heck of it, every member of that community becomes so protective, defensive, reactive or self-preservative, so as to minimise risk or harm. But then the faculty of inventing or being an ingenious community is defeated. But that's none of my business.

Innovation...

Listen!
If you want something new, you must be willing to try something new - and even if new is not your thing, Thomas Edison said: "there's always a way to do it better - find it."

Albert Einstein is to a great degree credited with saying that: “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results."

The lazy talents...

Those whose talent is at the mercy of their lack of tenacity will hardly do better than themselves, because they're usually so scornfully negative, so invested in hatred and baseless criticisms, as if they know better.

If you know someone like this, like I think you do, let me tell you one open secret about them: their biggest fear is seeing your confidence in your ability growing bigger and better despite their energetic dislike... don't you ever abate.

Truth today...

I can't remember the song title, but in it, Dr. Youssou N'dour said something like: if you open your door to entertain nothing but the truth, don't be afraid of loneliness, and do brace yourself for unpopularity, because only a few will come knocking.

Today, truth is so bastardised to mean anything that best suits tastes, desires and expectations. It doesn't have to be a genuine depiction or a statement of reality. Forget about integrity; just say what people want to hear, what makes them comfortable, and validate what they choose to display and you're truthful.

So convenient!
Nauzubillah!

Dear kid,

Sometimes you may feel you can now handle anything, that your mom nags a lot, probably so demanding, but believe me, anytime she talks that much, it's about the poor choices you make, for no other person can be as serving, intending or wishing to protect you as she will.

All she wants is what's best for you, not just what you find comfortable. So, "live and let live" may be suitable for application by anyone but a mother determined to fulfill her parental role. You may not realise this until you grow older, and even sadder if she's no longer around to "interfere" in your affairs, that's when you know you'll always need that protection.

Sincerely,
Someone been there, done that!

Time reveals...

As hard to tell as it may seem, with time, whatever a person tries to hide about his or her true character will come to light. Trust me!

'Olof Njie neh yaaga'ay woneh legetub taat.'

The Wolofs say: it is with time that the scars on someone's backside are discovered, because time reveals.

Poor on poor hate...

I see underdogs immoderately revering top dogs, fabricating bullshits just to get close to them, but always opposing the interests of the equally disadvantaged; so hostile and destructive to fellow underdogs. We can't lift each other up and that's a fucking shame. Can't we see how tough it is to want to be somebody after been thought unlikely to be anything more than a nobody?

But this is why a lot of us (underdogs and poor people) will live and die in our sad situations, and more than likely go to hell, because loving for your brother what you love for yourself is a condition to the completeness of that faith (Iman) that you lay claim to. In fact sometimes, if you find yourself stuck in wretchedness, check if you're not your own ulcer. God doesn't weigh on the spirit of men; He loves us.

Who doesn't have a problem?

In this world where cause of stress has reached its record, you're telling me someone has no problems - because he or she doesn't show emotions, or is lamblike? Like: “Ndeysaan, morm amut ben problem.” I am saying he or she has a problem, and his or her problem is NOT having a problem.

People like that are so disposed to accept anyone's will, even if nonsense is what it is, and that’s the problem. Before you know how unhappy they are with you, you’re in hell already, paying for what you did to them. BUT that is if they aren’t just being docile by deceit.

Wisdom...

Age brings wisdom; that's the claim. So, if the younger generation that you're trying to raise is still looking for someone to inspire them, someone whose life they would admire and aspire to be like when they grow up, and as old and ripe as you're expected to be, you cannot be that someone, go find them a role model, or else, take it from me that you're raising a generation that's gonna be as fucked up as yourself.

Cliques....

By God, I have stayed at the posh part of all the African countries I have been to, and one common denominator I have observed here and in all these places is that there's a group of superior minded people with this selfish belief that anything that's great should be run by them and theirs alone. So they create social circles that will help them work the system, and to make so much whilst working so less.

They make it seem as if whatever they do or say represents the choicest there is, and as if none other than them and theirs is worthy of reward or high rating... the disadvantaged amongst them will be like: "dont envy these people, they'll reap what they sow." But that's why they get very far in life because what they sow are "right" connections and an economic apartheid.

They'll create settlements that they'll Hollywoodise, and any elevator that takes them up there will never be sent back down for anyone but theirs. If you're a commoner and want to be around them, you gotta be willing to be a doormat, or be hired to do their lawns, dishes, laundries and drool over their jewelries... and don't even expect them to know you by your birth name.

Ironically, you'll see them all over the place bashing on white supremacy, or talking strategies on reducing poverty in Africa. How cute? Tell you what - none of those strategies will construct the poor; you gotta make yourself. Go against the odds, educate yourself, work on your attitude, break out of that inherited social position, climb the social ladder and create a new ID like it's nobody's monopoly. It's not gonna be easy, but one day, you'll say it was definitely worth the try.

The amiable boss...

According to management experts, there are four personality types of bosses: the expressive, the analytical, the driver and the amiable. In fact, the Rastaman in me sees all these Babylon inspired bosses as naturally not so dependable, but the most unreliable of them being the amiable ones.

You wouldn't know if you should love or dislike them. They can be as deceptive in competence as a bag of 5 Dalasi chips, but have this overly nice personality that will overtake whatever frustrating situation that puts you through.

They're always so kind, easy going and inoffensive, or at least appear to be. They're so, so cool if they are not selfish, but usually selfish. In fact, they can find you in critical care, unplug your respirator equipment just to charge their phone.

Nauzubillah!

Selfless acts do exist...

Granted, there are guys who'll pawn their souls to have what they want from a lady. But just because a guy is willing to help a lady out doesn't mean he's expecting something in return. So, imagining his motives without evidence may be uncalled for.

Selfless acts do exist, and there are true gentlemen who cannot just turn a blind eye to a lady in need, especially when they're in a position to help; kindness is doing.

See it this way: what if he probably was helped to be where he is and now he wants to send the elevator back down? Don't you see you don't always need that playbook to understand men; people are different.