Thursday 25 December 2014

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

I was told you bring gifts to homes every night before Christmas Day, and that’s tonight. Please, if you’re not just an imaginary figure, I beg you to bring me a bag full of patience, if I am to continue to deal with prejudice and insecurity, and a crate of ‘Humourates’, I know folks who really need some sense of humour. I also want more friends come 2015, but let their lives be based on a true story.

When coming, please get me one mighty scarecrow to scare every hypocrite and senseless bickerer away from my business. For those folks I see on here who do not know the difference between ITS and IT'S, make them overstand that ITS is the possessive form of 'IT', and IT'S is a contraction of 'it is' or 'it has' – BUT, never mind, I have done that already.

I know it’s a pretty long list, but December 24 doesn’t come so fast, so also get me an Encyclopedia, ‘Britannica’ preferably (2010 edition), I need it for folks with encyclopedic ignorance...and last of all, for all those holidaymakers whose intention is to come ‘Ayard’ and discredit the image of every other holidaymaker, tell them it’s BETTER NEVER THAN LATE.

Thank you Santa and I hope you’ll do something fast.

Sincerely

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