Holding memories of friends, brothers and
sisters who died on this unfortunate journey is a heart-rending nightmare. Now
I don’t even go to ‘warga-warga’ games because it feels so lifeless and
lonely. The other day I saw two formerly opposing soccer teams merging their
two teams in order to have a complete team, sadly because the missing players
have gone and are going gradually more.
Sometimes we blame the effect while closing our
eyes to the cause. Sometimes we massage the truth or prefer to remain silent
because we don’t want to be seen as if we don’t care about the youths. Others
make it appear as if the ‘back-way’ is all there’s to offer. Some who were
never there when these kids needed them the most will pay huge sums to set them
out on this suicide mission, and to claim name about that (diiw sangam mo yobu
diiw). Those discouraging the course are becoming sick and tired of the
needless persistence.
Sometimes I feel I have figured out the driving
force, but other times I wonder if this perilous challenge is truly a
consequence of conditions or just desire-motivated decisions, especially when
employed and skilled people split up with everything they have and leave.
Sometimes I ask myself, rather than buying a pig in a poke, what if all that
money was invested on something assuredly gainful - but wouldn’t that depend on
the market and opportunities available - but aren’t opportunities supposed to
be created? Good God, what a complex simplicity!
There are some who are just victims of
deception, motivated by friends who pretend to be living lives that they want
others to think they’re living. Some leave because they live with families that
do not give those at home the exact copy of the love and attention they give to
those abroad. Others including those stranded somewhere along the way dare
because they want to command bravery (yeffi goor la), but if bravery means
stepping in where angels fear to tread, I’ll rather remain a coward.
Those who are able to get there in one piece
usually realise the delusion when it is already late to go back, but when they
call home to dissuade the others, folks feel they’re insincere and should
probably come back if what they’re saying is what it is. I wonder how long it
will take to realise that the ones who’re keeping it real and telling us that
the grass isn't always greener on the other side are in fact more sincere.
Granted, Europe can present many possibilities
for immigrants to earn a prosperous living and to succeed in their economic and
social objectives. However, Europe can also be very traumatic, especially when
you get there illegally. Myself, I used to think that the God over there is
more generous than the God down here, but that was before I got there.
I am not trying to kill dreams, and it’s not
like I am okay or not tired of being poor, but the fact is, life is naturally
tough and is under no obligation to give us everything. For that reason, no
matter your condition, there will always be someone somewhere dying to have
what you’re putting too small a price on. The important thing is to be able to
serve a purpose and to overstand that those seemingly perfect lives that we
want ours to be like are sometimes more of lifestyles than purposes.
Borom karaw bu nyul nyakul dara
Beye du raas demi guddi
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