Unintelligent development...

When I was ‘taw’ and ‘chaat’ all at once (before my younger siblings came along), at home was mom, her sisters (my aunties) and myself as the only male figure in the house who doesn’t have an occupation out of the house. As you would expect, I attach so much importance to female company and that explains why I am good at ‘defanteh-ing’ (having my own back), but these were women without airs, whose company was focused on their own thing and on conscious issues than on people or foolishness.

Don’t think I have become sexist or something, and don’t take this for a generalising statement. I can confirm the fact that there are still women of substance out there, and I still have and recognise the value of certain female circles, but the poisoned and unintelligent development of the companionship of the best part of the women of this period is what I find insupportable.

The way I see it, everything’s now a cause of stress, and not only due to fixated waste or heartless misuse of hard-earned means, but also the needless display of borrowed reputation and the redefinition of the word "class" to mean anything cocky or wayward. Each one wants to be the centre of everything she is a part of, but with a pretended show of humility. Each one regarding or portraying the other as less impressive or important than her appearance may indicate, despite calling each other friends.

Conventionality has gone so off track, and so a hundred different women can interpret a single custom in hundred different ways, depending on individual likings and on everyone’s desire to be heard. This is why everyone ends up confusing everyone; cluster-confusion if you like - and you wonder why we have mule-type practices, ceremonies and rituals, including weddings that are neither religious nor traditional and not even pagan inclined.

Each one’s a certified event pathologist in her own right. So when they come back from their ceremonies, regardless of their fatigue or even before having a shower, they must do an autopsy; gossiping about who was dressed in what, who donated how much, who was expected to come and who hardly graces such occasions, who ate greedily, whose outfit was authentic and whose was fake, who should’ve done what in preference to what, who took the opportunity to responsibly squash beef with who and who rekindled whose rivalry with who, and so forth.

They’ll tell you “yeufi jigeun la” (it is female nature), but to me it’s a weakening of the trust that God had placed in them, because God had placed in every woman a unique value to not only give rise to, but to raise and transform creation, but shouldn't one be a model in order to transform another being?

To end with, Lord knows I love y’all, especially women who do not mind being different, knowing that it is in the difference that one can stand out. I hope the rest will do some serious soul-searching and show a relationship with the noble responsibilities vested in them.