Try to know your friends...

Avoid a friend whose friendship cannot be relied on in times of difficulty. He is only loyal, friendly, helpful and available when things are pleasant, but as soon as he senses trouble or hardship, I swear down he’ll disappear faster than my teaching career.

Beware of a friend that is not unlike a manual transmission vehicle with a dead battery or given up starter. You have to push it to start, but rest assured that as soon as the clutch is released and the engine rotates vroom! Consider yourself blessed if he has the decency to wave a simple ‘thank you’.

Avoid a friend who is always associating with your rivals, especially one that's always trying to smooth-talk y’all, so as to worsen the rivalry and in the hope of gaining dual favours. When he’s around you, he’ll insincerely praise the other person, even if you’re of more profit to him. It’s a smooth way of furthering his interest, because if you’re not very wise, you may be provoked into doing more for him, so that you’ll be his favourite.

Keep away from the friend that is always trying to make you angry by pretending to take pleasure in the things that he knows you have an aversion to, or by being silly not because he’s silly and enjoys silliness, but because he knows his nonsense will naturally cause you to do things that you’ll eventually regret.

Avoid a friend that pretends to be indignant about something that he claims was said against you, but will never disclose what he did in defence thereof, or what offered the basis for that smear that he’s indignant about, and what made the voluntary spy so comfortable to say what was said, knowing how close y'all are.