“Gambians don’t feel comfortable to be critiqued”

It is almost generally held that “Gambians don’t feel comfortable to be critiqued” - but I don’t think that notion holds in all cases. I believe folks are sometimes not okay with criticisms not because they’re easily upset, but because some haters disguise themselves as constructive critics, so that they can hate on everything you do, and without offering any well-reasoned opinion that can improve your work. 

Whenever such people are asked to comment on something, they have this awful bias of acting as if the outcome must be negative, and instead of being friendly in the process, they’re more than usually oppositional, as if nothing you do is ever right, and that’s impossible because “even a broken clock would be right twice a day.” Another thing I find funny is the use of borrowed audacity - the ‘sanj sanj lou’ if you like.

This piece is not motivated by the experience that I am about to share, but I think it’s relevant. On one occasion I volunteered to author a part of a certain document, and I had to swallow my public speaking phobia to politely attend the validation, but there I became conscious of the fact that a lot of people comment on issues just for the heck of ridiculing someone, or probably because they’ve seen others doing it and they don’t want to appear dumb.

At the end of the validation, I called all their rectifications "wreck-tifications", because instead of looking at the substance, mechanical and grammatical accuracy of what was before them, all their suggestions were badly chosen synonyms, half of which I rejected because the write-up was on a specialised area that required the use of specialised words. Now instead of talking about the complete waste of my valuable time, they concluded that I was just another Gambian that cannot stand criticism. 

One of them came to me during coffee break to ask how hot my seat was. I was appalled that seeing me shaky and sweating under the AC in my bid to regain composure was all what mattered to that one.  So that she can go home and gossip about my awkward state, and to probably claim glory for asking stupid questions.

I think it strips down to being passionate about nonsense; like I used to be about my observations when I was a junior auditor.  So eventually when the issues that I thought were valid observations get resolved and I had to go back to base with nothing but a good evaluation of the client, I used to feel bad, but now I see things differently. I have grown to realise that the audit exercise was not for me to inflate my ego, but to add value and to be more constructive than destructive to the client.

I am not saying the notion is wrong, but for every Gambian that hates to be critiqued, I think there is an equal share that cannot appreciate or celebrate anything. If you ask me, don’t be like me in my junior audit days - “if you can't say something nice (and constructive), don't say anything at all” - and for those of us that pretend to be tolerant by asking for advice, criticism or whatever, if you know you’re going to be distressed by what you’re going to get, then don’t ask for feedback.