Sunday, 12 April 2015

You're not old until you're old.

At a wedding I was at the other day, some juju-looking raggedy-ass girls wearing very poorly embroidered ‘Ashobi’ were throwing shade at a really nice lady. She should by all accounts be in her 30s, even though she looked younger than all four of them. They couldn't get above their jealousy so they made it feel like she needed to be apologetic for her gift.

Unfortunately for them, the lady had her own back and was able to put them in their despicable place. Now since I cannot mind my business when mean people are told off like that, I was like “Ouch!” I am all for people appreciating finesse, it is goodness, especially fine people whose grace is here to reduce the effect of all the spitefulness going on in this world.

In my opinion, people do not age according to the numbers in their years but by the pace of their value’s decline, particularly to wear and tear or even lack of care and self-hate. I believe you’re considered old when your body starts to treat your mind with contempt, like when your mind tells you to do things, but your body just won’t or can’t do them.

When your body’s fulcrum gets so exposed that no quality of twerking, winding or swerving you do on the dance floor is ever stimulating, even with implants from head to toe, because the body’s gone so stiff that even WD-40 sprayed all over the waist, hips and butt will still be a nil effect, that’s when you know you’re old – and it could be as early as any age.

You know you’re completely rundown when your assets: I mean your radiant skin, full lips, round behind and excitable flat belly start doing an about face, and even worse when your mind is messed up like that

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