Restraint!

One skill that is common to all human beings is survival; and naturally when someone needs to survive, he is capable of doing anything. So technically, human beings must be regarded with suspicion because they’re capable of doing anything to survive.

However, what makes some humans more human than others is the ability to exercise patience, even in the course of dire times - because patience like common sense is also not so common. In fact I want to believe that’s the reason why it is one of the best and most valuable virtues in the eyes of God. Patience is ordinarily taken to mean ‘lack of complaint’, but it goes further than that. It is tantamount to restraint, moderation, stamina, tolerance, safeguard, forbearance, fortitude, tact, determination, and so on.

Where there is no patience, self-control is defeated and people will have recourse to do anything to get what they want – For instance, the thief may argue that he steals for a living because life itself is not a fair fight. All right, but his decision to dirty his hands in compensation for what he considers unfair will then become an act of selfishness, because it is avoidable. That is to say, his decision to steal is not attributable to his condition, because someone out there may be a lot more disfavoured, but chooses to exercise decency in not falling back on taking what is not his.

This applies to the extra mile that some of us are willing to go when it comes to nourishing our desires,  like getting a new job or promotion, travelling overseas, getting a ‘toubab’ spouse, becoming famous, securing a vacation or business trip from a wealthy ‘mungu’ etc.- I am not judging!  It’s just that I am not a fan of achieving things by any means necessary, and especially not when the means considered necessary can turn out to be an inconvenience to someone else.

Stephen Covey said that “our behaviour is a function of our decisions, not our conditions” and he is right. No life is ever perfect. In everybody's life, whether one speaks it out or not, there's a certain problem, urge or craving that you’re trying to tidy-up, but it’s up to you to either remain committed to the fact that no condition is permanent, or go head-on and do just anything, despite the consequences. 

This observation may be dead wrong, but that’s how I see it – that in times of adversity, people that are without self-control take it to be a ‘kill or be killed situation’, so they end up caring less about the possible consequences of the actions they employ to appease their conditions. The patient ones on the other hand will more than likely be inclined to believe that with time, something beneficial may be born out of their adversities.

If you ask me, no matter how painfully desirous you’re, or regardless of your desire to belong, if you have a choice, always go for the most considerate means of access to what you want. It will take you far, and you wouldn't worry about anything haunting your conscience thereafter – Selah!