I’ll call it ‘generational envy’ or perhaps ‘myopic adulthood’.

Since I cannot find a word for it, I’ll call it ‘generational envy’ or perhaps ‘myopic adulthood’. It is when as an adult, you cannot wish for young people anything you didn’t have the occasion to, or couldn’t get when you were their age; when you keep reminding them of how grateful they should be that they didn’t go through what you went through, as if they were the reason you were in that unfortunate state of yours.

I am not just trying to think up a story to post; this is not an uncommon mentality, and it is probably one reason why you hardly see adult folks aiming for slow even though sure ventures. They want immediate returns and for selfish reasons. The reason why we don’t have adequate evergreen plants like cola, dates, coconut or palm trees is not because the land isn’t suitable, but because folks believe these plants take time to produce results and they wouldn’t want to die prior to reaping the benefits. They don’t care about legacy but ironically preach ‘Sadaqah Jariyah’ (ceaseless charity).  

I have seen families that were once so wealthy, but they became broke just after the demise of the main source of their wealth. If you ask me, it’s not because of some evil ‘serign-tu’ business or lavishness of the kids, it’s because the investments weren’t designed to last long. The amusing ones are those who act as if having interest in more wives and in the quantity rather than quality of children is the standard by which heroism is measured. So every windfall they chance upon comes with a new wife, and when they exhaust the limit, they employ something similar to the ‘first in first out’ (FIFO) stock valuation method – like divorcing the oldest wife for a newer one.  

About the kids, the notion is: “Dona sa baye, done sa baye ah ko geune” – fair enough! It is more respectable to seek be like your dad than to wait to become heir to your dad, but why must an existing wheel be reinvented? Can’t the children be groomed to nurture what dad started? I have seen it happen abroad. I have seen family business empires built centuries ago and still doing fine. Sometimes the dad retires from being President and CEO but still chairs the Board whilst the kids are running things.

No ‘Cadi’ or holy-looking person will have the effrontery to tell such a family that: “you know - God said when the father dies, the male child should get this and the female child that” – NO SIR, I am not a scholar but I know the will of the deceased takes precedence. In fact these families are so close-knit that outside hypocrisy is not condoned. The business hierarchy is like a monarchy and is overstood by all that way. 

I don’t want to name names here but I have seen and worked with a few local businesses and financial firms operating that way. I wish we could know and try to be like them. It will take us far and will of course reduce the stupid corporate infighting.